The Established Relationship Sequel
by CaptainOfMyShip
Summary: Sequel to The Generic LxLight Story: Because now that they're together, we want more fluff! Formerly The Lion and The Shark 2. L and the newly turned shinigami Light go to France to investigate a mysterious string of deaths that seem to all be heart-attack related. But Kira is gone, right?
1. 1

_**A/N: Welcome to the sequel to The Lion and The Shark. Although it will help to read that one first, you shouldn't get too lost if for whatever reason, you choose not to. Here's a summary of what's happened so far. If you're a returning reader (Or you don't care), you can skip the rest of the Author's Note and start reading. **_

_**Oh yeah, no ownership, no money. You know how it goes.**_

_**Light falls in love with L while they're handcuffed and he's memoryless, then his memories come back and he decides to stay with L and confess (L tells him his name, too) and they agree to protect each other, but problems arise in the form of Light's personality starting to split and sometimes his eyes go red and he occasionally goes batshit on L. I might reference the fact that during this falling in love process, L and Light get reallyreallygood at acting like each other, and Light starts calling L beautiful, which L doesn't like, but secretly does. Anyways, L decides to use it as a learning opportunity for his successors, by calling in Matt to fake a new Kira they can frame, thus saving Light, but mostly so that his successors can understand what he did and see him as a human being, capable of mistakes. Oddly enough, when Matt and Mello come, Near is with them, and it is revealed that they are in a three way relationship of glorious MxNxMness. Also, they get rid of Misa by having her give up the notebook, and then Light telling her he's gay and calming her down by telling her he loves her more than anyone still, just not in that way and agreeing to still hang out with her. Meanwhile, L starts tying Light up at night- not in the kinky way- so Kira doesn't emerge and slit his throat while he sleeps, and Soichiro walks in and decides L is a pervert and tries to separate the two of them. Light gets sent back to school, and we find out that he's secretly plotting with Ryuk, but L rescues him and brings him back to the base. Then Misa shows up. L and Light are reprimanded by Rem for neglecting their promises to Misa. After some tense moments, and a plethora of threats from Rem, they agree to do better, but Misa overhears the conversation. (And by that I mean eavesdrops on the human side of it.) She is able to deduce that "Kira" is present, as a spirit-like invisible creature, and is for whatever reason, looking out for her wellbeing. She also hears Light admitting he doesn't love her, but she dismisses it in typical- oh he must be saying that because L is there, so he DOES love me, and needs rescuing- Misa style. She talks to Rem and Rem moves a pen) and confirms her theories, then uses Rem to blackmail L and Light (With death and with exposure as working with Kira, relatively). She flounces off with Rem so she can "talk" to Rem Ouiji board style. She only gets far enough to get her to spy on Light. L and Light start discussing some very productive ways to get Misa out of their lives, when Soichiro appears, furious about the stunt they pulled at school. He starts yelling at Light, saying he had chalked it up to stress, sexual tension and living in indecent proximity to another man, but clearly, Light is sick, and needs help for his disease. He blames L for all of Light's behavior, and basically assumes that homosexuality is what's making Light act the way he is, and he really needs to see a counselor. He recommends a specialist, and Light flat-out refuses, saying he is with L and blahblahblah. Soichiro begins to turn the team against L and Light at work, since he can't force his now legally-adult son to get the help he thinks he needs, but Light feels somewhat betrayed and neglected by his family for being the perfect son for so long, yet being immediately neglected at the first sign of any "fault". L does his best to comfort him, but with the increasing amount of time he is forced to spend with Misa, the continued verbal abuse from his father, and the rude treatment of the rest of the team, Light continues to be affected by his father's words. One day, Sayu shows up at the workplace while her father is sick to see Light and bring him some dumplings. Kira emerges and in a fit of rage, blames her for being part of his father's issues against him. He strangles her, and just before she dies, he whispers in her ear, "I am Kira." Which would all be fine and dandy, except then L and Mello rush out of the building and saves her life. So then he has to kidnap Sayu as a "witness" without allowing anyone from the task force to talk to her, and Soichiro naturally suspects that this is a continuation of his perversion and L is now banging two of his kids. He throws a fit, and that's when Ryuk uses the distraction to sneak into Light's room and tease him about the plan he's been thinking up with the Kira side of Light, in which a death note is created, and the natural process will suck the life span out of everyone nearby, thus killing the task force and getting a new note out of the bargain. Rem, who had been sent by Misa to spy, overhears and informs them that actually, the creation of the note may take out the entire city with the life span needed unless two shinigami sacrifice themselves. She does so, but Ryuk flees, so to save L, Light confesses to being Kira and pretends its all part of a plot to be reincarnated as a shinigami. Then, Rem writes his name down to force Ryuk to break the rule that he needs to be the one to kill Light, and basically forcing Ryuk to die for the cause. L suffers through his loss awkwardly and quietly, and sadly notes that the only person who could read him well enough to realize how crushed he is is Light, and Light is gone. He is just wrapping up the spare bits of the Kira case, when he slips on something and hits his head, giving himself a concussion. Just before he loses consciousness, he thinks he sees Light, standing in front of him. Experimentally, he gives himself a (carefully calculated) dose of painkillers that's enough to –almost- kill him. Again, he sees Light. This time, Watari steps in, putting him on his own equivalent of suicide watch, though L insists he does not intend to die. L is being surly about this, and taking a walk in the small garden Watari builds for him on the roof (so he can be "outside" without being untraceable in case he tries to kill himself again), when a notebook lands in front of him.**_

* * *

L Lawliet was brilliant. He was calculated, cunning, logical to a fault and possessed so many skills and abilities that detailing them could fill several books. Of all the considerable talents and virtues that made up his incredibly complex character, patience was not one of them. Therefore, it wasn't that L didn't possess the intelligence to list every single consequence that could result from touching the death note, it was that he chose to disregard all of them and only briefly glance around before licking his lips and snatching up the black notebook.

When no magical entities snapped into existence, he slumped slightly in disappointment, but recovered enough to shove the notebook into the waistband of his jeans and sneak it back inside. Close inspection showed it to be exactly the same as the other notebook in his possession. In fact, L had a brief moment of panic during which he switched the two, only to realize that the old notebook would of course be the one with names and bits of sand still caught between the pages. He counted the pages and tore one out, measuring the time it took to be replaced against the older notebook. He replayed every test on the notebook that he had before and was simultaneously elated and frustrated when each result came back the same.

Had he known, Watari would have worried at his new obsession.

L didn't care.

His mind, which had shied away from the name was now a mantra of _Light Light Light_, and in constant turmoil between the wild hope that _Light can return! Eight feet tall and bony, perhaps, but Light!_ And the understanding that _I shouldn't get my hopes up, I shouldn't be irrational, it could be another Shinigami, the drop could have been random, or __**worse**__, Kira could come back and smile at me with Light's face, then go on killing._

He rapped his fingers for the umpteenth time against the notebook and felt new horror rise at the thought. The fourth sleepless day standing watch over the notebook began to take its toll and, though L fought it, he began to drift off.

* * *

"Wake up." L was briefly roused by the command, but while he would normally have snapped awake, he didn't really see why he should get up just then when he'd been having the _best_ dream, and his bed was so warm.

"Wake up." He burrowed slightly closer to the source of the warmth and noted how much nicer it was to sleep in his bed when someone was occupying the other side of it.

Suddenly, L was wide awake. He flattened himself against the headboard and started to reach behind it to the compartment which held a gun. The stranger in his bed seemed amused.

"L Lawliet," _How does he know my real name?_ "You have something of mine." He reached towards L and L recoiled, but he only tapped the notebook in L's shirt before withdrawing his hand.

"You are the shinigami, then?" L asked, and tried not to show the debilitating wave of disappointment that Light would not be coming after all_. I was so sure_. "You don't look like the shinigami I've met before. What is your name?" The man grinned.

"My name is Light." L sucked in a breath.

"You don't look like him, either." He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and smiled at L.

"Nonetheless, I am he. He as he is now. Stupid humans, so obsessed with looks." The man's flesh began to melt off his face, until his features were little more than a lump where his nose had been and a brief flash of black skull through the top of his head, then began to reform, switching him from identity to identity as he spoke. Some of them were grotesquely disproportionate, while others rivaled Rem and Ryuk in strangeness. "And to think I wasted effort trying to put you at ease with a normal appearance." He heaved a dramatic sigh. "But tell me, what do you think I should look like?" L dug around in his bedside drawer for some of his files, and handed him one stuffed with pictures of Light, from every angle imaginable.

"I have videos on my laptop, as well."

"No need." Replied the shinigami, and his features once more melted and reformed into the familiar face of Light. "So were you my stalker?" He asked, conversationally.

"No, I was- am- a detective, and you were my prime suspect."

"What'd you suspect me of?"

"Millions of murders."

"Wow, did I do it?" L looked at him evenly.

"Yes, you did."

"Well, that explains this." Light said, gesturing to the space above his head.

"I cannot see life spans." L reminded him.

"Of course, my mistake. Mine is exceptionally long." L's disappointment began to return as he noted every single difference between the shinigami and his Light. Although he wasn't Kira, and that was an improvement, he didn't seem to remember L, or any of the other things that made him who he was.

"Why did you try to put me at ease?" L asked bluntly.

"Hmm?"

"Why did you make an effort to put me at ease?" Light smiled widely.

"I wanted to get a sense of who you were and what importance you held before I decided whether to kill you or not." L's face betrayed nothing.

"Oh?"

"I have been temporarily relieved of any memories from my human life to remove bias, but I am not yet a shinigami. If I make your name the first in my note, I became a full shinigami, and get wings, the ability to make deals with humans, and several other perks I am not at liberty to share."

"It sounds like an exceptionally good deal. Why didn't you make it?"

"I wondered who you were that it was even presented as a choice. Who would turn down all of that to save some fragile human? I decided to fully investigate you before making my decision. You say we have history? Tell me." _Well, the skepticism is certainly Light's._

L recited his everything he could remember in the carefully detailed manner of one who had written up too many reports, until he got to Light's confession, which he recited word for word, with noticeably more emotion. He described the sex they'd had in the same curt manner, and ignored the shinigami's snort at his technical terms, until he got to Light's death.

"…which was, apparently successful, as evidenced by the fact that you have indeed returned." L finished. Light wrinkled his forehead.

"That story seems strange. The way shinigami are born is more of an accident than anything else, and it seemed like an inconvenient point to die. Also, if a death note was being created, as I believe one was…" He pulled a white notebook out from a pouch at his side and began flipping through.

"What is that?" Asked L, curiously.

"Rulebook. Hmmm…no, it appears I omitted some information when I confessed. Piecing together the entire story would most likely require the aid of my memories. I'll get them back when I make my official choice."

"Are you choosing to stay?"

"You are interesting enough. If I get bored, I can always kill you. You now have two notebooks, correct?" L held both up. "A shinigami must always keep at least one notebook, but if I take this one, I can stay bound to this world with you as the keeper of my personal notebook."

L handed Light one notebook, and as soon as Light slipped it into his pouch, he gasped and clutched at his head. L stood back, unsure of the consequences of getting in the way of a shinigami fit, but less than two minutes later, Light straightened and smiled at L.

"I remember." He reached out, and ran his finger over L's jawline, but Watari burst into the room with a gun.

"How did_ he_ get here?" L stared at him, surprised.

"You can see him? Light, I thought you were a shinigami."

"I am a shinigami who gave up his powers. All I have now is my death note, basic form changing, and of course, I'm not so easy to break as when I was a human." Watari shot him in the chest, and Light flew backwards, landing in a mess of his own too-dark blood. L ran over and crouched by his body. Suddenly, Light coughed, a thin stream of blood running down his chin, which he quickly wiped off. As the blood around him began to rise and flow back into his body, he stood back up. "That, for example, won't keep me down for long."

"But I can see you!" Said Watari, in an almost complaining tone, as if he could convince the bullet to re-inflict its damage in a more permanent way.

"Yes." Light smiled, and there was a little Kira in it. "For all intents and purposes, I'm back."

**_A/N: Please review! Tell me what you think. Remember, reviewing gets you speedy updates. Seriously, I've been updating every day for a few days now, so reward me!_**


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L set Light up with his own room, at which Light frowned, but did not comment. When he trailed behind L, following him back to his office, the corner of L's eye twitched, but he said nothing. In typical L fashion, he slid a half of his cases over to Light and began working in silence. In typical Light fashion, he picked a computer and started going through files, refusing to be the first to break that silence. Every so often one took a glance at the other's pile of work, and an unspoken race was set as each attempted to outdo the other. Watari rolled his eyes at the stubbornness of the two, but it still irked him that he had been unsuccessful in blowing Light's brains out, and he'd be damned if he'd do anything to help their dysfunctional relationship along. Instead, he silently retaliated by bringing L lukewarm tea, and glaring at Light whenever he got the chance.

Both grew absorbed in their work quickly, and the hours passed by in a blur of sweets and coffee. In the absence of company, L had quickly trashed the workroom, covering every surface with stacks of files and loose papers. Although there was no old food, there was a corner of the room dedicated to a few large stacks of teacups, with drying brown residue at their bases. Light resolved himself to many hours matching the man. He didn't mind. **The game continues…** L didn't know if Light required sustenance or rest anymore, but Light didn't complain, and L's curiosity got the best of him. Stretching, he pushed away the significantly shrunken pile of work and looked at Light expectantly.

"Done already? Its only been…" He checked the watch which L almost jumped seeing again. That watch was locked away in evidence. "9 hours." **It's been longer than I thought. Does he always do this?**

"I think it's time for a proper meal." Light waited for Watari to appear with food, but was surprised when L got up and brushed himself off, hesitating before extending a hand to Light. "Do you need to eat?"

"I'm not sure. I don't think I need to, but I've seen Ryuk do it before. Where are we going?"

"Kitchen."

"Doesn't Watari make your meals anymore?" Watari had usually made meals before, although in hindsight, Light realized that they had made breakfast themselves a few times, and eaten out often as well.

"Of course not. Mostly I order food or pick it up, but there is no need to maintain the butler pretense."

"There was no need after hours before."

"You were still a threat." Light looked at L curiously.

"And I'm not one now?"

"Now, there is nothing to be done in regards to the situation. No precautions or preventative measures I can take." It sounded a little bitter, and Light decided not to push L further. Instead, he followed him to the kitchen.

* * *

A lovely cupcake in a little plastic container sat tantalizingly on the counter with a note on it saying

_**This is for later, L. Do not eat it.**_

_**-W**_

Sitting at the table and watching L providing an impressively efficient model of how to trash a kitchen without producing any actual results had Light smirking and remembering a simpler time, when he had just been a prime suspect, handcuffed to his detective lover as each tried to kill the other. **Something is seriously wrong with my thoughts.** He was so caught up in reminiscing, he missed the fact that L was frowning as he methodically spread flour over the counters, despite his lack of will or ability when it came to baking. Still caught on their last exchange, L asked in a false casual tone,

"Is mass murdering something I'll need to worry about again?" Light looked up at him through his eyelashes.

"That depends. Is bondage something I'll need to worry about again?" Damn. I was hoping for a blush. He rolled his eyes. "I was being facetious. I don't see any reason why I'd need to kill. I don't need it for my life span." L stared hard at Light.

"You have lost all interest in your crusade?" Light's fork paused on its way to his mouth.

"Human affairs are no longer mine to worry about." Is that Kira speaking?

"Do you believe yourself to be above them?"

"I believe myself to be separate from them. And I am."

"So you won't kill?" Both of them spun around to see Mello leaning against the entrance.

"Unless its more convenient to." Near frowned, as he shuffled into view.

"Did you not just claim a lack of interest in human affairs?"

"If a human crosses my path, it becomes my issue. No, I will not go out of my way to kill, however, the rules have changed. I am a Death God. Killing isn't a matter of right or wrong, it is a fact of my existence. Every death that has ever occurred has been one of my species. Would you like to charge them for providing a natural function?"

"We decided it was fine, dude. Even though you totally wasted the flawless scapegoat I made you." Matt's fingers didn't pause, but he looked away from his game to glare at Light. "Still, as long as you're not actively being Kira, it doesn't really matter. You all can work out your relationship issues on your own."

"Hey, L, we can't go back after this. We weren't planning to regardless, but when you leave, can we have the building?" Mello asked. L raised an almost nonexistent eyebrow.

"I wasn't aware I was leaving." Matt snorted.

"Yeah, right, but we all know that now that he's back and you can stop moping, you're gonna start taking real cases again. Just leave us the keys." For once, L seemed to be overwhelmed by his successors and his mouth opened and closed in an attempt to find a response as they filed away. Light watched with some amusement, although after a bite of his spaghetti, it immediately turned to disgust. He almost spit it back out, but prided himself too much on decorum and decided to force it down.

"Is the sauce bad?"

"No, the whole thing is flavorless. Not just bland, but completely and utterly flavorless. Like chewing and swallowing paper." L put his finger in his mouth and watched Light looking at his food as if it had just betrayed him._ I wonder…_

"Here. Try this." L threw an apple at Light a little too hard to be considered friendly, but Light didn't seem to notice and plucked it out of the air with ease. When he took a bite, his expression changed to awe.

"Mmmm…it's alive. I can actually taste the life in it. Delicious." He finished the apple, looking blissful. "Still, I can't live off of apples. It would be disgusting to watch. If all I can taste is the life anyways, I should be able to eat any fresh fruits or vegetables." L shuddered at the thought of an existence without cake. It really put things into perspective. He resolved to never take sweets for granted, and began his search through the kitchen anew. Wary of Ryuk's behavior in the past, Light sliced the next three apples and peeled them meticulously before beginning to gracefully consume them.

"Do not think your manners conceal your actions, Light-kun. You are not permitted to finish my apples. I might decide to eat some as well." Light glared.

"I can't eat dead food, like you."

"Yes you can. It just isn't an enjoyable experience for you. You can hold off."

"Ah, yes, because you're the very picture of dietary restraint." L seemed to ignore both the comment and the irony as he at last unearthed a pint of ice cream in his otherwise frustratingly healthy refrigerator and began the equally destructive search for a spoon. Watari really wasn't his butler, but maybe if he begged later, the man would bake him something more filling. Banana bread, maybe? L had gotten a sudden and inexplicable urge to empty the fridge of foods Light could eat. Just to bother him.

It was a little unsettling how easily he was falling back into his pre-Kira relationship with Light. Despite everything, this was what L had so desperately wanted, and it was hard to face it with his usual professional skepticism when it looked so much like his wishes being granted. Still…

"Funny, this doesn't say anything about _me_ not being allowed to eat it." Teased Light, opening the plastic box the cupcake sat in. With his dessert at stake, L immediately came to attention. Those were pudding filled. He almost never got the pudding filled ones. Suddenly, he noticed something that gave him chills and even ruined his usually unstoppable appetite.

He couldn't forget what that thing was. Because even though he came back seeming much more balanced than he left, and he smiled and talked like Light, and the icing briefly hid the rot, his cupcake had _died_ when Light held it. L closed his container and walked out of the kitchen, no longer in the mood for teasing. Light slid the cupcake back into place without noticing the effect he'd had on it and followed L out of the kitchen.

"Calm down, L, I'm not going to eat it. What's wrong?"

"You are wrong, Light-kun." Light froze. **That was harsh**.

"Excuse me?"

"It is wrong to continue treating you as a human being because you are not one. You do not even look like one, do you?" Slowly, Light shook his head. "Show me." L ordered, unconsciously stepping a little closer as his natural curiosity urged him to investigate. The flesh melted off of Light's bones, but always vanished just before it reached the ground, until all that was left was a shiny black skeleton, and course red hair that was pulled up into a point. A troll doll joke may have been in order if L hadn't been busy examining the rest of him. The skeleton stretched upwards until it towered over him at about eight and a half feet, and where wings might have been, there were small nubs. In every other way, he looked like an obsidian anatomical model. Very close inspection showed small hairs in certain areas on his body, so light that the black shone through more clearly, like the fuzz adorning a bee's body. The arrangement reminded L vaguely of fur. "Clothes?" L asked. The watch popped into existence on Light's skeletal wrist.

"They are made the same way the flesh is."

"And if you leave a jacket somewhere?"

"It's different from human physicality. The jacket would fade out of existence eventually. I would lose nothing. It's created from the energy immediately around me. Those fooled fuel the illusion." **Such a tidy method.** Light seemed to smirk, though it was hard to tell without lips.

"It's an illusion?"

"It's solid, if that is the question. It is no more or less an illusion than your own existence." The idea was a little painful to the logical mind of L. He changed the subject.

"Put your clothes back on. We should speak about your plans for the future." Light smirked again. L mentally cursed him with early wrinkles, before noting that the skin was back in place to create the effect.

"Didn't you say we were going to solve cases around the world? I distinctly remember having that talk."

"Is that…still what you wish to do?"

"Yes." Light said firmly. L's face gave away nothing of what he thought of the situation.

"Very well. I will make preparations." As L walked out of the room, Light called after him.

"L Lawliet, Nate River, Mihael Keehl, Mail jeevas…names are lovely, L, and I can see them all." He hummed away in the kitchen with the slowly dying food, and L felt his steps growing slightly heavier as he walked to his room. It was infuriating how things could be the same and so fundamentally changed. And he was stuck with it, even as a part of him cheered that he and Light-kun would see the world after all.

And L Lawliet, master strategist, had no clue what to do.


	3. 3

_**A/N: It's four in the morning and I haven't slept yet. Its because I'd like to wake up to some reviews. I know a lot of people get more reviews because they update once every couple of weeks or so. I am somewhat unconventional in the fact that I update as I write, so you guys get a lot more frequent updates, although there is no schedule. Please, don't make me space it out. If you like me updating this often then REVIEW! So I don't have to change my methods. Especially since right now I have less reviews than faves or alerts. C'mon. That's not right.**_

_**I don't own death note and I don't make any money from my writings. Otherwise, it'd be a shonen ai, and I would use that money to sustain a diet similar to L's. This chapter is a little slow-paced, but I hope you enjoy it. The characters need to be able to tolerate each other's presences for the rest of the story to work.**_

* * *

The room buzzed with the silence of Light's absence. L had thought he would feel better with Light's overwhelming presence gone for enough time that he could collect his thoughts as they were without the influence of the…_mass murderer? God? Really, how can I rightfully accuse him of having a god-complex when he has truly become a god of sorts? Hmmm, I find the irritation of Light-kun's smug disposition when he is clearly wrong is far, far less than the irritation caused by the same attitude backing correctness. _ L flipped open his laptop, and checked the kitchen security footage. The kitchen was empty, and he stared for a long moment at a moldy bread roll sitting on the counter. Rewinding it, he saw Light lean into the counter before idly tossing the roll up into the air and catching it several times.

"What are you watching? Is it good?" Cold arms slid around his waist to loosely connect over his stomach. L's stomach tensed, slightly retracting his stomach from the touch.

"It is certainly interesting. Watch." Light tucked his face into L's shoulder, and only left his eyes exposed to watch. He saw nothing but himself in the kitchen, tossing the roll up into the air. Still, he decided to play along.

"Ah, yes, a marvelous demonstration of coordination in the face of rebellious baked goods." L frowned.

"Look at the orange more closely." He pointed out a barely noticeable discolored section of the roll. Light immediately pulled his arms back, closely examining his hands and nails.

"It was bad? Wait here, I'll wash my hands." **No wonder he was reluctant to touch me. Still, I don't see how I didn't notice…**

"Wait. Watch again." L replayed the entire scene, but this time, kept the screen zoomed in on the bread roll. Light's face twitched quickly, as his expression wrinkled into confusion before he instinctively smoothed his features out into the calm with which he dealt with the unknown.

"It went bad while I touched it?" L nodded, and suddenly, Light ran out of the room. L saw him appear on the current kitchen camera and grab several different foods before he vanished again and took twice as long to reappear in L's room, arms laden with seemingly random items. He snatched a notepad from the drawer by the lamp, and made a chart. Taking the pad without asking was the kind of action no one got away with but Light, and the ease with which he stepped back into the role worried L even as he relaxed at the familiar action.

He chose to ignore it in the name of scientific curiosity and crouched in his armchair to watch Light taste, lick, touch and stare intently at each item before writing down the result. Tasting an item rarely produced a result, though Light seemed to enjoy some things more than others. Licking was the same, and touching an item alone seemed not to do anything, though once or twice Light would hold one thing and another would rot. Glaring almost instantly brought rot or mold to whatever unfortunate food product received Light's fury. _If looks could kill…_

L looked up from his intense staring contest with the foods, and was surprised to see Light staring at him. For a moment, he swallowed, imagining himself shriveling and rotting like the foods, but Light's face turned sorrowful, and he peered up into L's face with real regret.

"I'm so sorry, L." _Has this reminded him of the consequences of his actions? Is he finally penitent for all he's done?_ "…I ruined your cupcake." Light didn't understand what he'd done to get kicked out of the room, but he resolved to buy L another cupcake as soon as possible.

* * *

In his room, L frowned. He had honestly kicked Light out from a general irritation, and because it was easier to send him out than to deal with his own inner confusion. Honestly, he had become so morally ambiguous within the time frame it took for the biggest mass murderer in the history of the world to worm his way into his heart that he didn't really care about an apology. If anything, such a gesture would have concerned him, because it would signal a change in Light, giving such a futile apology, and while the lives lost were lost, L was stubborn and selfish enough to find some happiness in the fact that Light was not.

Frantic movement caught his eye. Light was waving his pillow at one of the cameras in his room. He switched on the intercom.

"Yes, Light-kun?" He chewed on his thumbnail to do something with his hands while he thought.

"I don't know if I sleep anymore."

"Close your eyes, and try."

"You're awake anyways, why don't you talk to me?"

"About what?" Light was silent for almost three minutes.

"I never explained to you the circumstances surrounding my death, did I?"

"Or your reincarnation."

"I'm not completely positive I understand that either, but I will tell you what I know." Light sat cross-legged on his bed, relieved to have avoided the silent treatment he'd feared over the cupcake. "As you know, I was somewhat…divided at the time, between the person I had developed with you as an influence before the notebook, and the person I had begun developing with the notebook."

"Kira." Supplied L. Light frowned.

"Not exactly. Both were me, in a way, and still are, but yes, we can call that one Kira for the sake of clarity. I was falling for you, and that made both of me extremely vulnerable. Kira did not care for that weakness and began using moments of unconsciousness while I stayed with my parents to plot with Ryuk, undetected. He mentioned in passing that things would be easier if I had a second notebook, and Ryuk began to develop a plot in which a notebook would be created in the middle of the task force and draw upon the energies of those near to it, thus acting as a bomb that would suck out the life of those immediately surrounding it. As an end product, I would even get a notebook. "

"What did Kira need a second notebook for?"

"The notebook Ryuk sent down was actually stolen from another shinigami. We were encountering some difficulty avoiding his detection. Unfortunately, it appears Ryuk did not actually read the rules regarding the creation of a new note L noted with some dismay that Light's face twisted in irritation at the thought of his past failure.-and the sacrifice required may have actually taken out the entire city." L's eyes widened.

"How was that prevented?"

"Two death gods giving up their lives are an alternative sacrifice. Rem agreed because she loves Misa and had been fighting a depression that she had hoped would culminate in her end. Ryuk fled, and so the only way to force him to die was to kill myself, causing him to break the rule that he would be the one to end my life."

"Why…did you do that?" Light raised his nose into the air and sniffed haughtily.

"It would not be very befitting of a god to kill an entire city without discrimination between the good and evil." L nodded, chewing deeper into his thumb. "Still, that could have been smoothed over, possibly even spun as a tragic event for the rest of the world to unite over. In truth, I did it to save the people I knew specifically. My parents, Sayu, and you. Maybe the task force as well. It was incredibly sentimental, and went against everything I had maintained thus far, but after I made the decision, I followed through as well as I could. I had hoped to solve some problems for you by confessing first. And…to help my father deal with the loss."

L averted his eyes. He'd seen Soichiro at the funeral, and almost expected to be turned away, but the man had grasped at his hands like a lifeline and leaned heavily into him, whispering

"Nobody knows…" into his ear as if it was some great truth, while around him, people spoke of Light's accomplishments. Since then, he hadn't returned to work, and seemed thoroughly broken by Light's confession and suicide, as well as Sayu's fragile mental state at a similar revelation.

"If your confession was staged, and the reason for your suicide was that, I take it you did not actually intend or expect to reincarnate as a death god?"

"No. Now that I know the rules, I can't explain to you specifically what happened, and I am not completely sure myself, however, what I think happened was that my sacrifice got tied up into the death note sacrifice. Two gods were needed, and there was a human extra. My death was most likely bound to the note, and the…I suppose you would consider it a ledger of sorts, tallied up all of my kills and added them to my life span as if I truly were a death god. I spoke to a few shinigami in the other realm…most of them can't remember being created, and those that do speak of darkness followed by life, and the creation of the world they inhabit. My creation was certainly unconventional, and if the others were given the same choice as me between further power and…you, none of them remember."

"That was fortunate." L said, bitterly.

"Then why do you say that like it was unfortunate? Do you think I should regret my decision? Take it back?" Light's voice raised and he became somewhat irritated that L wouldn't just stop complaining and be pleased he was allowed to live. He had given up considerable powers for him, and deserved to have a lover, not a mopey and irritable deadweight of a companion.

"I…don't know. It was unfair of me not to thank you for your decision." He lifted his eyes to meet Light. "Thank you. Still, can you understand why I would be suspicious? I am paranoid by nature, but you said you were committing suicide to become a Shinigami, and you reappeared as a Shinigami, only to claim that your suicide was an act of self-sacrifice all along." Light's anger vanished as quickly as it had appeared. **L **_**is**_** paranoid**. He chuckled. To L's inquiring expression, he replied,

"I don't think you could have ended up with anyone who wasn't guilty."

"Guilty of what?"

"Guilty of anything. The more, the better. Your paranoid nature would cause you to question every action. A truly innocent person would tire of your behavior. Only a guilty person could allow it, and accept it and in return, you can only trust a guilty person because you already understand the nature of their evil, which you view as an inevitable part of humanity." L finished his nail and began chewing on the soft flesh of the pad of his thumb. If so, that was extremely distressing insight into his nature.

"Hmmm…" Light tilted his head almost thoughtfully and extended his hand to rest it lightly on the bedspread in front of him, as if he was imagining L before him and placing a hand on his. "A detective, in general, fights for justice, but flourishes, the more guilt he is surrounded by."

"If it weren't for you, the city may have died." Light reminded him.

"Still, my profession is almost as hypocritical as yours. To live off of the crime I oppose. The guilt."

"Its alright. I am the guiltiest of them all. And I need you to ground me."

"We should make the worst pair in the world."

"That's what makes us perfect for each other."

"Ridiculous." But L began to revive the plans he had discarded upon Light's death. He could still learn to be charismatic. He could still teach Light some of the more obscure and particular details of detecting. As for their more personal relationship, only time could tell. But they did make an odd sort of sense together, like puzzle pieces from two different puzzles fitting together perfectly. Maybe nothing else could build around them. But maybe the picture that came from their pairing would be something new and unique, like nothing that ever could have been created using reason.

* * *

**_A/N: Too cheesy? Not cheesy enough? I'll never know if you don't review..._**


	4. 4

For a time, their relationship played out in a solemn silence. It was there, but rested in an uneasy, unaddressed gray area. When L looked down at him with dark eyes, gleaming with a scientific curiosity once reserved for case files and the Death Note, the lump in Light's throat grew at the undeniable changes in their interactions. Nothing was playful, even in the dangerous chess board way it had been before. Each moved with a quiet carefulness around the other, and their touches were nervous little flutterings of skin against skin, reserved for times of carefully worked up courage.

Light kissed L's fingertips sometimes, and his shoulder, and the crook of his arms, but never his lips after the first time when L pulled back and looked at him in true disgust before his expression smoothed and he offered up a quiet apology.

"Sorry. You're cold." Light sat in front of his mirror that night and, concentrating, painted a delicate web of blue green veins over his body, but as real as it looked, he could not force blood or warmth to flow through them, and restricted his cold little kisses to fingertips and joints. Even with this precaution, sometimes L's skin would crawl, but Light pretended not to notice, and L didn't tell him to stop.

After a while, Light was too busy to care about it in a conscious every-second way, and focused instead on the studies L provided for him. After L was sure Light didn't need to sleep, or eat, really, he began giving Light stacks of old and new cases with riddles and puzzles to solve, and his own observations and lessons in spidery writing at the edges of the text. Sometimes, Light would finish a stack and check his watch, only to discover not hours, but days had passed. Such discoveries were usually followed by a methodical hiding of everything sweet in the kitchen, though he suspected L enjoyed hunting for them.

Case after case was read and note after note memorized until the faces of the dead and advice about the fragmenting patterns of skulls relative to the force of blunt weapons began to blend itself into an agonizingly slow blur that felt too death-filled for the death god, and made him worry about how L, a human, lived that way. When L left for his few hours of sleep, Light looked at him jealously, only to realize that L was looking back with equal jealousy and wishing he could work past his exhaustion.

"We need a break."

"I do not take breaks. Thank you for your advice."

"This is ridiculous. We've both been working for almost three days straight. That's not healthy." L pushed against the desk, and his chair rolled back enough that he could look Light straight in the face.

"You are dead. Health is no longer something you need to concern yourself with."

"You aren't."

"My health is not your concern." L bit his thumb and tilted his head to observe Light from a different angle. "Ruling the world would have required even more work." It was said in a mild tone, but L had the look he'd always had when pointing out Kira's hypocrisies to Light.

In all honesty, Light had never planned a future with this level of work. Of course, he would be a diligent and fair god, but he had always viewed himself as a catalyst to stop all motivation for evil-doing. Kira's judgements would eventually be passed down to a government, and the lack of new crime would allow for work to begin on poverty, starvation, and natural disasters. And Light would shine above it all, a fair and just god in tailored suits, ruling his custom designed world.

This thankless, endless paper shuffling was never in the plan. Light turned to retort, but L's face held the same superior look of victory that it so often had. **This has been our first normal conversation since I've returned.** L's jab was thus met with an irritating grin.

"Maybe." He said smugly, and turned back to his computer. "Still, I think we need a break." L opened his mouth to argue, but Light put up a finger to stop him. "Before you argue, remember that we were each going to teach each other. Our break can be an opportunity for me to fix some of your abysmal social awareness."

"I'm perfectly socially aware." L snapped. "I choose to act the way I do." Light shrugged.

"Prove it." L could feel himself being manipulated. Still, a break was acceptable as long as it had purpose.

"All right."

"This trip is unnecessary, and I still think you're spoiled."

"Your opinion does not matter."

"That's what a spoiled person would say."

"Light-kun should keep his comments to himself, as it is his death that causes the need for discretion."

"If you would let me change my appearance, it wouldn't be a problem."

"Also, it should be taken into consideration that it was your idea to take a break, and therefore the terms of the break should be mine."

"Fine."

"There is some time before we get there. We could begin work on the Meville case."

"No, thank you." Light sighed and rested his head on his hand, looking out the window. "I haven't flown much. This is nice."

"Do you regret your decision?"

"What de- oh. Not really. That is, I haven't given up flight forever. Only until you die. That'll come soon enough." Light looked suggestively up at the space above L's head, and L developed a sudden interest in his thumb for the rest of the flight.

"Germany."

"Yes. Just outside Stuttgart."

"Why?"

"I thought I could provide you with an opportunity to practice your German."

"You know, some couples go to restaurants."

"We can go to a restaurant."

"What time is it here?"

"5:39 a.m."

"We have all day. Hmmm, I've read about the architecture here."

"I suppose." Light walked ahead of L and scanned the immediate surroundings. To his disappointment, they seemed to be somewhat removed from any city. The airport only had a few airplanes, all of them private jets, and out of the three cars in the parking lot, L held the keys to two.

"Let's take that one." Light pointed, and snatched the key out of L's hand, jumping into the driver's seat. He practically hummed with excitement.

"Where are we going?"

"To the city."

"The city of Stuttgart?"

"Yes."

"That is in the other direction, Light-kun." Light somewhat sheepishly turned the car around.

"Sorry, I'm a little excited."

"Why? I travel often, and there is nothing to be excited about, beyond the novelty of being somewhere different."

"What do you do when you come here?"

"I select a hotel, set up my equipment, and contact the local law enforcement."

"I see." They drove in silence for a while, but Light mentally rejoiced that the silence was a comfortable one, with the exception of his mild irritation that L insisted they stop at the first convenience store they passed for snacks. As they began to enter the city, Light forgot to glare at L, in favor of gawking at their surroundings.

It was so green! The landscape was vastly different from the cities he was used to living in, and the architecture had a whimsical focus on beauty instead of efficiency. Things felt more spread out than in Japan, even as they got closer to the heart of the city. The clothing was slightly different as well, although Light saw more of a difference in the women than the men. He parked at a shopping center.

"Why are we here?"

"You are buying new clothes for today."

"I fail to see the purpose of that."

"How can I teach you social tricks if people form opinions of you before you even try? Clothing has an effect on how you are perceived. Dressing normally can get you overlooked, which is good in some cases, for avoiding suspicion, or attention. Dressing nicely will turn people in your favor, before they even hear what you have to say. Dressing the way you do will have people watching you and waiting to see you do something wrong so they can report it." L scowled.

"I rarely need to communicate with people outside of law enforcement, and they respect me based on my position."

"Even that isn't necessarily true. Even when I was clearly guilty, turning the task force against you was easy, for me, and later for my father. No one wants to stand behind someone who looks incapable."

"I am not-"

"Yes, I know, but you look like you are." L stared, and Light waited for him to come up with another argument, but finally L conceded.

"Fine."

Inside the store, L simply looked at the racks of clothes, and then waited.

"Well?"

"It was Light-kun who insisted we come here. I feel no attachment to any of these items."

"Based on the people we passed, pick an outfit."

"This feels pointless."

"Do it anyways." It took L twenty minutes to replace his baggy jeans and white long sleeved shirt with baggy slacks and a white long sleeved shirt with a blue stripe across the front.

"Why don't you pick something you saw a specific person wearing and recreate it for now." L put his genius memory to good use and assembled a new outfit in only five minutes. Light looked at him critically. "Did you, by any chance, select a vagrant?"

"No. I saw a man in a wheelchair, and thought he looked comfortable."

"Or paralyzed." Said Light, and started picking through racks. "In the future, you might want to enlist an employee's help in selecting your clothing."

"Why do you assume I will do this in the future?" Light ignored L, and continued.

"If you need to, you can pick a mannequin and recreate what they're wearing." L put a thumb in his mouth and stared at Light with wide eyes.

"That mannequin does not have legs, Light-kun." Light looked at L for a long, long time, and tried to decide if he was really that unreceptive, or if he was toying with him on purpose.

"Then choose a mannequin with legs to dress like." Light led L around from store to store, forcing him to observe different types of people and create new outfits that emulated each type. L was stopped by the mall security on three separate occasions. The third time he was frisked for being a suspicious character, L admitted there was some merit in putting an effort into his appearance, and started paying more attention.

Light made L change for lunch. L almost refused, but saw the slight twitch of Light gritting his teeth and acquiesced. If Light were to snap and kill him over this, whatever remnant of L still existed would be mortified to have ended so trivially.

"And sit up straight."

"Why?"

"The practice is good for you."

"I am L. I do not need practice."

"Whatever you say, L." Light grinned sadistically when L's nice new shirt ripped as he hunched over. Sulking, L started to pull up his knees to his chin, but looked at the hole in his shirt, and decided not to recreate the incident with his pants. He had the horrible feeling that Light had predicted this. This suspicion solidified when Light pulled a second shirt out of his- "Purse." "It's not a purse, it's a briefcase!" "Light-kun may refer to his purse as whatever he wishes."- briefcase and sent L to the bathroom to change again. Lunch was consumed in silence, broken only once when L and Light both realized at the same time that the waitresses were actually arguing about who had to go serve the two glowering men. Neither could hold back a snort of laughter, and the blonde with twitchy fingers was sent to take their orders.

"Are we leaving? Now that we have completed this exercise, there is no reason to stay."

"We're not done yet."

"What else could Light-kun possibly wish to accomplish here?" L waved at the rolling green hills in the distance, the striking architecture, the quaint little collection of shops they stood in the middle of, the spectacular fountain, the glory of culture all around them. "There is no purpose to this visit."

"It worries me that you can't enjoy a trip without at least one dead body to look at."

"That is an untrue statement. I simply have too much to work on to feel as though this is a productive effort."

"All right then, L, we'll make it more productive. Pop quiz." Light steered L into a bar. "Pick up a girl."

L stared at Light, but still the words coming out of his mouth circumvented all his abilities to comprehend the message Light was trying to convey.

"Excuse me?"

"Go pick up a girl. Or a guy. I would go for a girl though, most guys aren't very receptive."

"What?"

"My, aren't we articulate today? I look forward to your next sentence. Perhaps it will exceed two words."

"Why?"

"Because that is how conversations work, L. Two people take turns introducing new ideas to a topic that has been mutually agreed upon."

"Why does Light wish for me to…proposition a woman?"

"It's the most innocuous way for you to practice your manipulation skills. The audience will be slightly receptive, but you will still have to work at portraying yourself as a desirable character." **Also, I really want to see this.**

"I see. This is the pop quiz you spoke of?"

"Yes." To Light's surprise- and mild disappointment- once L was given valid reasoning, he took to his task well. He adopted a confidant walk that Light recognized as his own, and slid into a barstool next to a tired but pretty looking woman, with a little too much makeup for the outside world, but the soft lighting complimented her well enough. Light realized he couldn't hear what L was saying, but as he spoke, the woman began to relax, leaning in to talk to L, and even giving him the occasional small touch on his arm. L's deep voice floated back to Light, though the words were still incomprehensible, and Light realized with some pride that L had changed his voice to something much friendlier. Finally, L leaned in to whisper something in the woman's ear, and she nodded, taking his arm. He left a bill on the counter and started walking before he froze in a brief moment of panic.

The woman leaned in, and asked L something, most likely if something was wrong, judging by the concerned look on her face. He quickly smoothed his expression and shook his head no at her, but as soon as she looked away, he shot a desperate look at Light.

_What now? _He mouthed. Light immediately caught on to L's dilemma and mouthed back

**Have fun**. A terrified looking L was dragged off by the woman.

"You're dripping on the carpet, L." He looked down.

"Yes, it would appear so."

"Why are you wet?"

"I was pushed into a fountain."

"Oh?"

"Yes, apparently, I was being a tease."

"Tch. How rude of you. You shouldn't have led that poor woman on."

"…"

"I have another change of clothes for you, if you'd like. And a towel."

"Why do you have a towel?"

"I tried to be prepared. Be glad you need the towel and not the first aid kit."

"I feel as though marrying the woman would have been less of a hassle than rejecting her."

"You could have just gone with her." L looked up, surprised.

"I was under the impression that our relationship was not an open one."

"Would you be jealous if your pet nuzzled someone else?" Light retorted, half-jokingly.

"You view me as your pet?"

"Well, should I see you as my boyfriend when you won't even kiss me?" Even Light was surprised by the bitterness in the statement. His jab actually hid a sore spot.

"Light…" L felt a little guilty, and moved in to kiss Light, mentally steeling himself for the oddness of kissing room temperature flesh, but Light grabbed his shoulders, stopping him.

"Don't force yourself, L."

"I want to."

"You want to want to. But I don't want it like this." L did not degrade either of them further by denying Light's statement. Instead, he inclined his head.

"Very well."

"Anyways," Light continued, in a forced cheery voice, "did you want to sightsee with me, or should we be _productive_ and quiz you a little more?"

"I will allow you to indulge in these tourist activities, if you allow me to change back."

"Fine, L, your suitcase is in the back."

In all the history of pants, L's reunion with his pair was probably the most honestly joyful. Light rolled his eyes, but L's warm human hand slipping into his sometime around the third tourist site they visited made up for his ridiculous attachment to the horrible clothes.

Privately, Light admitted to himself that he was glad L didn't know what to do with the woman when he had her. Gods and pet humans aside, he would have been extremely jealous if anything had happened.


	5. 5

_**A/N: This is not New Moon. If you want drawn out angst caused by clearly irrational assumptions about the other partner's motivations, read a fic that does not center around two genii. If you want to keep reading my fic, understand that I just don't have the patience to write that kind of shit, and accept the bandaid I put on their relationship.**_

_**Thank you.**_

L finished the Meville case on the way back.

Light was understandably frustrated to be ignored again so soon.

"Did you enjoy our date?" he had asked, competing for attention with a bag of gummy bears and a stack of papers. L blinked owlishly and turned to regard him with blank eyes.

"Date? It was my understanding that the purpose of this outing was to learn and practice social skills."

"We did that too." L shared a look of deep displeasure with a green bear before sending it to an early death in his stomach.

"In the future, if Light-kun wishes to waste time on dates, he should inform me beforehand, and not disguise his motives." Light had gaped at him then, not quite knowing what to say to the suddenly hostile detective.

"Going out together is a waste of time?" This time, a red bear was witness to the depth of L's patience, a secret it took to the grave.

"When compared to catching serial killers, rapists and…" he waved the folder triumphantly in the air "violently jealous ex-wives, yes." Light's good mood immediately began to dissipate.

"So you didn't enjoy yourself?"

"That is irrelevant." Light wondered if his feelings for L were the universe's way of reminding him of all the girls he had brushed aside during his life.

"It's relevant to me."

"I don't see why."

"Because even though you were supposed to learn something, I made you go out because I wanted you to enjoy yourself." A second red bear followed the fate of its comrade after enduring L's chilling stare.

"Why does it matter if I enjoy myself?"

"Because that's the point of a date. I didn't realize that my company would be something you'd have to endure." Light mentally patted himself on the back for resisting the urge to use expletives.

"What does it matter if I enjoy your company? I give up valuable time spending time with you."

"I thought you would." Light replied, somewhat tartly. "I gave up my life for you. I chose not to kill people, I gave up my vision, I gave up flight, and power, and my own fairly valuable time because I thought it would be appreciated." Miffed that he had come across a little more vulnerable than he would have liked, Light gave the best impression he could of crossed arms and a closed expression without actually crossing his arms and crashing the car, a consideration which, by the way, was solely taken for L, with his delicate little human body.

"Would you like me to show my appreciation by wagging my tail, or will nuzzling your hand suffice?" It took Light a long moment to navigate around the bizarre way L had of expressing himself.

"You are referring to my earlier observation that our relationship is more like a pet and master?"

"Yes, although I haven't yet decided whether or not it's an improvement from your previous delusions of godhood." With all the patience Light had amassed over the course of 5 months handcuffed to the man and trying not to pick fights, he swallowed back a retort, and apologized.

"I'm sorry. I was joking, but I understand why that may have been a sensitive subject for you."

"Do you?" L turned away from both the candy and the work to glare at Light, who felt an irrational spark of victory at having accomplished such a thing. "Do you really understand what I went through? What you put me through? I do not know who you are or what to expect. Even when you were human, there was a side of you I was unprepared to handle. Now you are a god of death. I respect that you made those sacrifices, however, it was your decision to make them. Doing those things expecting a certain reaction from me would be unfair and illogical. How am I to know if I am a pet to you, or a peer, or an energy source? I cannot. So, yes, it's a _sensitive subject_."

"L, I-"

"I love Light. You do not feel like Light. You look like Light, but you choose to do so. Additionally, if all you inherited from Light was his ability to act, I have no doubt that that alone would be sufficient to fool me."

Faced with a need to prove his identity, Light was at a loss. The rest of the ride to the airport was silent. Boarding the plane was equally silent. It was only two hours into the flight when L was wondering if glaring at his own eyelids was a viable way to stay awake that Light reached over with cold fingertips to stroke the nape of L's neck and softly offered

"You like it when I touch you here, and I like it because you lean in." L scoffed.

"It's a natural reaction to move away from unwanted touch."

"You don't move away from the touch, you move forward regardless of your position. Well, you did." L did not reply, so Light elaborated. "You can tell if a smile is real that way. People who falsify their emotions can appear to smile normally, but when a person is really smiling, they lean forward the tiniest bit."

"You believe this is related to my feelings towards you? Why?"

"Because you don't smile much, so I have to guess when you're happy." I make you happy. I think. Unwilling to voice anything so weak, Light adopted a tone of confidence and finished "Touching you there makes you happy."

"Light may have known that, but Kira most likely knew as well." Some of Light's frustration showed as he waved his hands around to express his point.

"Things aren't that black and white. Yes, I am Kira. Kira is me. Kira is me is Light is Kira is me! What do you want me to say? Here's something _I_ know. You're damn stubborn, L, and if you're convinced this isn't real, it won't work, but what I don't understand is why you're so convinced this isn't real in the first place."

"I wanted you to come back." L said mildly, seeming not to have heard any of what Light had said. "I wanted you to come back so much that Watari worried for me. He wanted me to go to counseling." Light raised an eyebrow. **Watari never liked me, but surely grieving was permitted. **"I painted symbols on the office floor in chicken's blood."

"Wha- why?" L shrugged, seeming unembarrassed.

"Research led me to believe it might help."

"Really?"

"No, I was extremely skeptical, and rightfully so. You reappeared on your own terms."

"What made you believe it would help in the first place?"

"Wishful thinking, mostly. I saw you appear when I was injured."

"Assuming that was real, my appearances had more to do with your well-being than symbols. What research did you do exactly?"

"I purchased a series of grimoires and did extensive reading on the internet. Still, I agree with you. When I deliberately overdosed on painkillers, you reappeared."

"You did what?"

"Light-kun, these questions suggest you do not understand me, but the fact that you are past five years of age suggests that you do, and are wasting both of our time by asking for clarification."

"You tried to kill yourself? Are you insane?"

"12.1% likelihood, however, I was not attempting to commit suicide. It was a controlled experiment to see if you would reappear, and you did."

"I-" L had clearly retained the ability to stun the usually composed Light speechless, if nothing else. "You did that just to see me?"

"To see Light." Ignoring the distinction, Light grabbed L's hands and clasped them loosely. L noticed with some surprise that they were shaking, but remained wary, knowing how Light could be manipulative.

"Never, ever do that again. If you wanted to see me so badly, why are you so hesitant now?"

"I…am pleased you came back. However, there is no way for me to ensure that you are Light, and not Kira."

"I am not Light and I am not Kira."

"What?"

"I am different. If it helps, I am a lot more stable than either of them would have ended up being had things continued the way they were going, but to some extent, you will need to see me as someone who can eventually take their place. Since you are so concerned with the fairness of expectations, know that it would be no more fair to expect me to be unchanged as it would be if I had gone to war, or fallen in love. Experiences change people, obviously, and just because mine was…different than most doesn't make that invalid." _This is ridiculous._ Suddenly, L laughed, and Light checked on him to make sure his mind hadn't snapped from the stress of being faced with irrefutable logic. "L?"

"You have been feeling wronged because you feel you sacrificed things for me and I am insisting things change."

"Yes."

"I have been feeling wronged because you came back different and I do not know the extent to which things have changed."

"Yes."

"So my insecurities have been fueling yours and yours mine?"

"I…suppose so." L had stopped laughing by then, and looked at Light with a deadly serious expression on his face.

"Kiss me." Light unbuckled and moved across the aisle to the empty seat next to L where he rebuckled (an action the crouching and unbuckled L looked disapprovingly upon) before turning to L. There was a little bit of hesitation in those dark eyes, yes, **but when has he ever **_**not**_** been paranoid about something**? L stretched up towards him, supporting his crouch with one hand on the armrest and Light leaned over and down, and for the first time in a long time- even before Light had died- they kissed. It felt a little nervous, and tasted like gummy bears, and more than once, Light's newly sharp teeth scraped at the inside of his lips, but from the moment their lips touched, a warm wave of much-needed reassurance washed over each of the men. Light was touched by the finally uninhibited gesture from L, but he actually felt a physical ache in his chest when L moved his hand from the armrest to Light's shoulder. The simple action conveyed a trust that he could support himself on Light, and Light suddenly felt light and tingly with the symbolism of the touch. **Hmmm…I knew wings were overrated.** L pushed his tongue out and licked the line of Light's lips once before pulling back, still leaning on Light.

"Light-kun is room temperature and his lips no longer have a dip on the side." He waved his hand dismissively, and released Light completely, settling back down amid his files and candy. "Areas for improvement." Light grinned, and caught a small smile on L's face from the corner of his eye. It was insulting, insensitive and…**completely how L always talks to me. I must be a masochist to love him. **The small smile was gone, and L had his head tilted back so he could drop Swedish Fish into his open mouth. **Or crazy**.

_Light is staring at me._

"Would you like a candy, Light?"

"No thank you, L."

_**A/N: If you don't know what Swedish Fish are, they're these gummy candies shaped like fish and you need to go buy some right now and try them. They are extremely tasty. **_


	6. 6

"You're cold." L whined.

"So you've told me." Light had tried everything he could, and although he could will fire to rise from his pores and dance over his skin, he could not make himself warmer. He couldn't make himself cooler, either, and was instead trapped with the temperature of dead flesh left sitting out.

"Please fix it." Light rolled his eyes at L.

"As much as I want to encourage your discovery of the word 'please', I don't know how to make myself warmer."

"You were warm when I woke up next to you the day you arrived. Had I known you could not repeat this effect, I would not have asked you to stay tonight." Light concentrated as hard as he could.

"Better?"

"No, but you turned red." Light returned to his normal color as well as he could without looking at a mirror, and when he looked back at L, it was with resignation.

"I can leave, if it's too cold."

L's invitation to share his bed had been such a victory for Light, it felt like cheating that it would be taken away.

"No," demanded L, stubbornly. "I don't want you to leave, I want you to fix it."

"I don't know how!" Insisted a slightly frustrated Light.

"You were warm when I held your hand, too. I know you can do it, so learn how, so I can sleep."

"I was? I don't know why, though!"

"Think warm thoughts, Light-kun." Light glared.

"Easy for you to say, your blood naturally keeps _you_ warm." Light grabbed L and pinned him down underneath him, pressing himself up against him as much as he could.

"What are you doing?"

"I had an idea!" Light said, excitedly, seemingly oblivious to the effect the closeness was having on L.

"What idea?" L asked. Light ignored his irritated tone and answered,

"The reason living things are warm is not because of anything as profound as life. Temperature follows rules."

"So?"

"So using magic to warm myself up is stupid when I can just follow those same rules. Like body heat. When I touch you for long enough, my body reflects your heat back to you." Understanding, L allowed Light to press himself against the detective a little more.

"Light-kun claimed to be magical." L accused, more than slightly amused.

"Would God powers of death have been a little more scientific for you?" L snorted.

"In the future, take a bath before we go to bed. I do not like this transition period while I wait for you to warm up."

"You're completely spoiled." L sniffed delicately.

"Appreciating comfort does not define me as a person, Light-kun." Light snorted.

"But it does make you spoiled."

"Then since I am so spoiled, Light-kun will humor me by going to take a shower. It's like lying with a corpse, and you've only warmed up the slightest bit since you've insisted on pressing your body all over me."

"It's only been a couple of minutes!" Light protested, but he was already up and on his way to the bathroom.

"Thank you!" L called after him, and Light snorted again, because L didn't thank people, not really, so he was only being facetious with this uncharacteristic display of gratitude. After taking the hottest shower he could, one that would have undoubtedly burned him if he'd still had nerve endings proper, Light deemed himself at least room temperature, and vowed to strangle L if he complained about him being too hot. Instead, L actually snuggled into him, a rarity even when they had both been human, and both of them took comfort in the long neglected feel of sleeping with another.

Therefore, when, less than ten minutes later, L got a phone call, Light actually growled in frustration.

L looked at him reprovingly, and replied to an unheard question,

"What sound? No, I'm sure it was just a glitch in the phone line." L frowned. "But you might." There was another pause, and Light wondered how many world leaders he'd have to write down to get whoever was calling his L off the phone. But then L would go investigate too, and he'd be angry. "I see." The caller spoke for a little longer, and L's eyes lit up, even as his voice remained solemn for another "I see." And after a final pause, L said, "I see. Thank you for contacting me. I will inform you of my decision in the next 48 hours." And hung up.

"Who was it?" Then L's phone rang again. It was a different cell, and L opened the drawer next to his bed to reveal about fifteen phones. He crouched properly on the bed, utterly abandoning Light, and started to dig through the mess before plucking up the proper cell and speaking into it.

"Hello?" His voice was a little higher, and had a slight French accent, though he answered in English. Barely noticeable, but there. "Yes, I had heard something like that. Hmmm?" Light listened to an almost identical phone conversation. As he was finishing up, a third phone rang, and Light recognized the phone L always kept on him.

"Hello?...yes, I have already been informed, thank you….I believe I will…Excellent, can you please bring some cake down to the room?...I did." Smirking, L hung up.

"I have a case!"

"Oh? I thought we already had cases? Or were the 312 that I've helped you solve thus far just for fun?"

"Those were cases from my alter egos."

"Deneuve and Eraldo Coil?"

"Silly God," **Why do I feel like he's always wanted to say that?** "those are only the famous ones. In reality, I have more than 43 names I work under."

"Why 43?" L tilted his head.

"Coincidence. It's how many I've picked up, so far. Are you going to continue lying there?"

"I was hoping you'd lie down with me?"

"There is not time to sleep." L said, as if it were obvious that he would discard his body's basic necessities. "I have a case. And Watari is bringing cake."

"I thought he wasn't your butler."

"Yes, but he indulges me when I am working on an L case."

"Why?"

"I tend to forget to eat, otherwise."

"What is this case, that you would neglect yourself over?"

"7 dead bodies. Heart attacks." Light's breath caught.

"But-"

"It could be coincidence at this point. It is likely to be coincidence." Light gave up and sat up, brushing aside the habit of yawning or stretching.

"And if it's not?"

"Then either another notebook has been dropped, or you are being less than honest with me."

"This again?"

"If you'll recall, last time I suspected you, I was correct." Light started pulling clothes on.

"So where are we going?"

"I am sending two assistants to France, to oversee the case."

"Wedy and Aiber?"

"No."

"One of your successors?"

"No."

"Who, then?"

"Lucien and…you will have to pick a name. Obviously Asian, since there's no hiding that. I want you to look like yourself, mostly, it's what we are both most familiar with. Darken your hair a little, and make your nationality more ambiguous. A little closer to Korean, maybe?" As Light willed each strand of hair individually to darken, he thought maybe L was a little too flippant about his supernatural powers, considering what a fuss he'd made earlier.

"I need a mirror to change my features." One of the first things L had done after Light's death was take down the unnecessary mirrors. He waved him towards the bathroom.

"Spend the time thinking of a name."

"Tsuki."

"Too obvious."

"And L isn't?"

"You can be Tsuki, but your last name cannot lead back to Light Yagami in any way."

"Then you pick the name. I don't really care."

"Li Moon Suk?"

"Mine was obvious?"

"Li Jae"

"Fine. Why Li?"

"It's common."

"Fine." Light headed off into the bathroom to change his features. L was waiting for his laptop to start when a light tapping came from the door. _Excellent._ He thought, and went to get his cake.

"We will be there to observe, until faced with complete proof that there is, indeed, a new Kira. You will not say or do anything unless prompted by me, even if you perceive an…injustice." Light did his best to look innocent, but realized he didn't know how his expressions looked on his new face and resolved to spend some more time with the mirror later, while grudgingly accepting that L was correct to allow him as much familiarity as possible. "View it as another vacation, if you'd like. I will only be taking simple cases while we are observing, and there will be time to practice my social skills. I trust you can handle that maturely?" Asked L, his thoughts clearly on a certain involuntary dip into a German fountain.

"I thought you handled everything from hotels?" L grimaced.

"I would, but an assistant of mine would be expected to be more cooperative. Marginally. Anyways, you will need practice before you can afford distance. Pack whatever you need. We could be gone anywhere from a week to a year, if it is another Kira." Light started packing L's suitcases instead, worried the man would neglect hygiene in his rush to do something real.

"Pack things for yourself."

"I don't need anything."

"Clothes? Toiletries? That shampoo you use?" Light folded and packed the shirt in his hand and without breaking eye contact with L, melted until he was the obsidian skeleton once more. Then he reformed, wearing new clothes.

"New clothes. New flesh. I don't need to clean, or dress." L seemed unimpressed.

"Pack a few things anyways. There may be a situation where you have to change in front of people."

"Alright." **Surprisingly reasonable.**

"Also, you are cold once again."


	7. 7

A/N: I'd like to apologize for all the OCs, but I promise that they're only there to support the romance between L and Light and to fill in the background of the new setting. They'll go away, and if they get too irritating, lemme know and I'll see if I can kill them off, or something. I'll be posting chapters at least once every two days for the next week and a half. To apologize for the wait. My dog died. I don't even make this stuff up. It's just been a VERY chaotic year for me. Fortunately, I've moved away from my home, and most of the crazies, so I'll be living a fairly stable life and updates should be easier.

Abridged Version: Sorry for the wait. Updates once every two days.

Investigator Derjue divided his attention between glaring at the stack of papers in the passenger's seat next to him, and watching the road with the eye of someone who'd been subjected to more than one accident caused by the carelessness of others. The cane in the backseat was another common recipient of his angry looks, but if it had noticed, it was used to it by now, and did not comment. He had a false knee, which ached when a storm was coming, and a real knee, that ached regardless of the weather. A man his age deserved an honorable discharge, or better yet, retirement. Tarn was not the place for one who sought such things. Imagine, having a law enforcement presence so small that it required aid from Albi's department, which was also nearly nonexistent.

Derjue shot another glare at the case files. Over heart attacks. Because of a high-strung Investigating Magistrate. And Kira. It was Kira's fault, really. If it weren't for that whole fiasco, heart attacks would have been heart attacks, and there would have been no more said about it, let alone aging investigators shipped in from nearby towns.

There had been some talk, as well, of investigators coming in from outside of France, even. Employees of L. Ridiculous, what the deputies would speak of, when no one was around to keep them in line. Mazamet was a place of relative peace; hunting accidents, petty thefts, and the occasional drunken domestic abuse. The famous detectives would go to paris, along with a vast majority of the tourists and the serious crimes.

When Investigator Derjue finally arrived, he parked next to a military car that looked as though it had come from his station, originally, down to the large scratch on the side from an old parking mistake. It _was_ the same car. Derjue felt an uncomfortable parallel between himself and the car. Was he the newest throwaway model to be passed down to a smaller town? He retrieved his cane, and shot a curmudgeonly look at the car, which he could have sworn sent a curmudgeonly look back. Walking into the station, the first thing he saw was a woman around his own age, certainly no more than sixty, but probably more than fifty. She was bending over, fussing to arrange a pile of…something.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, hello! You must be investigator Derjue!" She rushed over to kiss his cheeks, while he struggled manfully not to visibly show his disgust at being slobbered over. He mostly succeeded, except for the white knuckles that gave away the tightening of his hands against the cane. "Such an exciting day, isn't it? All these new visitors to our lovely town! I brought in some pastries for you. And maybe for L's little friends, what do you think?" Derjue, having opened his mouth to silence the woman, instead found it filled with a pleasantly crumbly pastry of some sort. "I'm Elisabeth Lhuillier, but everyone calls me Lisa, except for the children, who call me Madamoiselle Lhuillier, but that's only because they want some of my pastries." She made a pouting face that lasted all of five seconds before a huge smile reasserted itself over her face, and she continued, "I make pastries, you know, and feed people who can't feed themselves. We don't all prosper off of the tourist trade. I used to run the bakery, actually, but little Ethan got himself married and bought my bakery- what is that, five years back? I suppose I sound like an old woman now, but I really do-"

"Nice to meet you, Mada- Lisa. What purpose do you serve within the station?"

"Well, I was _going_ to say that I do filing and paperwork around the office, answer the phones, that sort of thing. And I bring pastries."

A middle-aged woman wearing a uniform shirt over extremely altered and form fitting uniform trousers sauntered in and gave the investigator a look entirely too sexual to be appropriate for the situation. Very clearly, and very shamelessly, she continued sizing him up, before she extended a hand as if she expected it to be kissed, and only turned it to shake his at the last moment.

"Investigator Derjue, I presume?" She purred. "I am Delia. Delia Rielle." He retrieved his hand from the cage of her long pink nails as quickly as he could. For apparently no reason at all, she bent towards him, showing off several ribs that grudgingly melted into her cleavage. Was there no one even moderately competent at this station? Investigator Derjue's lips shaped a swear word, but misinterpreting it, the woman winked at his apparent interest.

He was considering his escape, when a young woman in relaxed uniform marched into the room, and bent neatly at the waist to kiss Lisa on the cheek. She clicked her heels.

"Madame." Turning towards Investigator Derjue quickly enough that her short black bob swished around her face, and he had to fight not to step back, she clicked her heels again. "Investigator Derjue? _La Blanche _up in Albi called and said you'd be in today." He blinked, and a hand appeared in front of him. He frowned at it and then shook it. Apparently it was a town custom not to allow newcomers to speak. They had said something about an enthusiastic young lady over the phone.

"Are you Mary Alice?" She frowned.

"Marie Alice Baptiste. I know, the spelling throws people off." Investigator Derjue turned in surprise towards her.

"You are the Chef d'Escadron Baptiste?"

"Yessir."

"How old are you?" He asked, bluntly. Her efficient demeanor faded somewhat as she adopted a playful look and winked at him.

"Investigator, that is not a question you ask a woman." Formal, then? Two could play at that game.

"Of course." He murmured. "My apologies." He gave a very gentlemanly deep nod to her, and tried to ignore the way Rielle was looking at his watch. Oh, the horrors of small town law enforcement.

_Oh, the wonders of small town law enforcement! _Thought L, as he clutched his own knees and sucked at his lollipop, from the passenger's seat of the car.

"Has anyone ever told you your smile is a bit creepy?" L smiled wider, and removed the lollipop from his mouth with a loud slurp that left Light checking around L's mouth for rainbow colored spit. Fortunately, the man was a master at not wasting a grain of sugar, and every piece of the lollipop not attached to the stick was safely dissolving in his mouth.

"I enjoy small towns." Surprised to hear an actual opinion, Light turned towards him.

"Why?"

"Because they- watch the road- have completely incompetent systems." Light snorted.

"How does that make them different from major cities?"

"They don't try to cover up their incompetency with paperwork. It's easier to cut through the red tape. Confusion runs rampant, and in the face of uncertainty, citizens bow to the nearest official looking source. Which is me." L's smile crossed into grin territory, which was even more frightening. "I've commandeered entire stations before, and never been asked to file reports. Lovely."

"And you say I have a God complex?" L wrinkled his nose.

"Well, I can't say that anymore, can I? Now that-" He gestured towards Light, and put the lollipop back into his mouth. _Conversation closed._

The two sat in contented silence while L fished his hand around between the seats of the car for any jellybeans he might have missed before and Light tried not to gawk at the beautiful little town that looked like something out of one of the fairytales his mother used to read him. They drove over an old fashioned stone bridge that arced just above the misty waters of a silvery stream, and emerged among trees in the shade of green typically only seen just after a heavy rain. Light watched an elderly couple walking together leisurely, and reflected that this was the type of town he might like to retire in. Although the sidewalks were a quaint cobblestone, the roads were smooth and traditional. It was all very relaxing.

"STOP THE CAR!" Light slammed on the brakes, looking around for whatever danger had prompted the panicked shout.

"What is it?" L popped a finger out of his mouth and extended it, still shiny with spit, in the direction of the window.

"Look, a bakery." L opened the door and walked out without any further explanation, leaving Light to park. In less time than it'd ever taken him to park before- people here seemed to favor bicycles when a stroll wouldn't do- Light caught up to L in the small store.

"….one. And that one. Two of those. That one. Is that cherry or strawberry filling?"

"Strawberry."

"One, then. Are those all the cupcakes you have?"

"Yes, but we'll have another batch in tomorrow." L made a little affirmative noise while he chewed his thumb and slouched over the confections.

"hmmmmmmm…." The huge man behind the counter stopped staring at L for long enough to turn to Light.

"I'll be with you in a moment, sir."

"No rush." Light used the man's scrutiny of L to observe him. Practicing the new skills available to him, he pretended to flip through a small menu, and grew an eyeball just above his left elbow, where he melted the sleeve enough to stare at the man.

The owner of the bakery looked incongruous with the floury white apron on, surrounded by cupcakes. He was at least two meters tall and with his broad chest, arms and thighs thick with muscles, and facial bone structure that defied evolution, seemed more suited to being a drill instructor, weight lifter or caveman than a baker. Even his fingers seemed well muscled, but he handled the pastries so delicately his fingers didn't even make imprints on the sides. L was getting a box clearly made to hold donuts by the dozen stuffed with a mess of sugar and dough and icing.

The man rang it all up, and it came to just under twenty six francs. L dug frantically in every pocket at least twice before he came up with a wad of money that was far too messy considering Light had only separated it from the money he'd packed for him that morning. He pushed the wad under the man's nose, and as he rang it up, the man said his first word since "Strawberry" in the soft, careful voice of a smaller man who didn't want to offend. Of course, if one was trying to ingratiate themselves with L, strawberry was a fairly good word to begin with.

"I'm Ethan Lambert."

"Lucien."

"Are you visiting? You don't look like many of the tourists we see around here, and I know everyone who lives here." L stared hard at the man and removed his thumb from bloodless lips to ask,

"How don't I look like a tourist?" After the man gaped at L for a few seconds and floundered for an inoffensive answer, Light took pity on him and walked over to the counter.

"Yes, we will be assisting with an investigation."

"One of those types? If you're staying for any length of time, you should speak to my wife, Claire. She runs the bed and breakfast a block down and around the corner. Much homier than any of the hotels. I bring in pastries every morning for the breakfast bit of it." L stared at him again, and waited an awkwardly long time to respond with,

"Perhaps." L grabbed his pastries, and jammed his hand inside for the first sticky bun he grabbed, which he immediately began to consume.

"What can I get for you?"

"One of those, please." Light pointed at a random pink monstrosity piled high with edible ball bearing sprinkles, what looked like confetti, and a plastic, fake cherry on top, which he had no intention of eating.

L looked up, cheeks stuffed with dough, and asked,

"Can I have a bite of that?" Ethan's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline while he counted out Light's change.

"Of course." As if he would have seriously considered eating the diabetic's nightmare. It was understood that whatever he bought would also be given to L.

"Your change, Mister…?"

"Li Jae."

"Mister Jae. Lucien. G'day." As they walked out together, L complained,

"Why did he call you Mister Jae, and me Lucien?" Light grinned smugly.

"Because I look like a Mister."

"What do I look like?"

"A meth addict." L tried to look dignified and fit two danishes in his mouth at the same time, failing at both.

"Can we go check in at the police station now?" L pouted, and pushed the last crumbs into his mouth.

"Fine." He looked irritated to be interrupted from his gorging. Light rolled his eyes.

**Never mind that we've come here to catch a murderer.**


	8. 8

_**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to DarkEnvisions, who I bully, and whine at, and send random crap to, but who stays up late with me anyways, and provides inspiration. **_

_**Here's some pronunciations for you.**_

_**Augustine Derjue – Aw-guh-steen Dehr(like 'there' but with a D) jshoo. **_

_**Marie Alice Baptiste – Muh-ree Ah-lees Bup-TEEst**_

_**Delia Rielle - Dell-ee-uh Ree-elle**_

_**Elisabeth Lhuillier – Eh-lee-za-BEHth Luh-oo-lee-air**_

_**Ethan Lambert – Eh-thahn Lamm-baire**_

_**Li Jae – Lee Jai**_

_**Lucien Rue – Loo-see-en Roo**_

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"It looks like exactly like the two shops next to it."

"Small town law enforcement." Light shrugged and turned off the car. When he got out, L seemed content to stay in the car and finish the penultimate sweet.

"I feel like your chauffeur." He said, walking around to open L's car door, as a strong hint that it was time to go in. L, of course, ignored the hint and licked all of the jam off of his fingers before allowing himself to be pulled out of the car. Light produced a small bottle of hand sanitizer and forced it into L's hand, but L just sniffed it, wrinkled his nose and put it in his pocket. Light narrowed his eyes, but immune to germs as he was, decided not to retrieve the bottle. Or dump it on L's head, as pre-death Light might have done.

"Well, you _are_ driving, and I _am_ paying you." L said thoughtfully, before cramming the very last doughy treat into his mouth and looking back regretfully into the car, at the empty box.

"You're paying me?" asked Light, somewhat surprised.

"Well, I will cover anything you feel like buying, and if you'd like, we can give your alias an account with a paycheck, but the outcome is the same."

"Anything I feel like buying?" L shrugged, seeming unconcerned by the manic grin on Light's face.

"Within reason. You'll probably want a car. If the laptop you are borrowing does not suit you, you can get another, although you'll need to get a very good one, and have it sent through Matt so he can secure it. Those suits you insist on wearing, so you don't get caught dissolving bits of your clothes." The too-nonchalant glance L sent in the direction of his elbow told Light that the eye trick had been noticed. Which was interesting, considering that L had been facing the other direction at the time, and _he _didn't have any extra eyes that Light knew of.

L dug around in his pocket and came up with six different credit cards, which he splayed out like a magician.

"Pick one." Light selected one, and although he kept his face professional, inside his mind he made several undignified noises about the greatness of having a boss who considered sports cars, top-of-the-line technology and designer suits to be spending within reason. And, Light being Light, and therefore not anything approaching overly humble, he was also convinced he deserved it, and was pleased to finally get what he felt was his due. For putting up with the man who had just started eating his cupcake.

* * *

Inspector Derjue was just running out of things to say to the three women- all of whom were not people he would ever have spoken to, if they'd been strangers on the street- when a man walked through the front door.

"I am Li Jae, an associate of L." He had to admit, the man was impressive. Asian, and contrary to stereotypes, fairly tall. His face was maybe a little too delicate for a classic handsome look, but he was very attractive. The word 'pretty' came to mind. Despite the slight femininity to his face, he carried himself with a quiet power and confidence that came across as very masculine. He was wearing a designer suit that Augustine, a man who appreciated the finer things in life, immediately identified as ridiculously expensive, but Jae wore it as it was meant to be worn; instead of looking like he was showing off, he looked as though crisp tailored cuffs and Italian shoes were his every day wear.

Working under L, they probably were.

Li Jae extended a hand towards Augustine Derjue and gave him a firm handshake, which he leaned into, giving him an air of self-assurance.

"My partner will be coming in shortly. He's…in the car." A much younger part of Derjue's mind than he generally gave credence to wondered if his partner would come in dressed identically, like government agents in the movies. Having worked for the government for years, Derjue had long lost his sense of awe, but perhaps foreigners ran things differently? If any foreigner were to do so, it would be L.

Meanwhile, the man had bowed over the hand of Rielle- who giggled and repeated her chest-baring trick- and had managed to give an aura of respectful admiration during his handshake with Baptiste, who had straightened up even further and tightened her jaw as she extended the proper welcomes. One could almost miss the slight blush on her cheeks.

The door opened again, and deeply impressed with Jae, everyone turned expectantly towards the newcomer.

For a while, there was silence.

It was Li Jae who finally spoke up.

"This is my partner, Lucien Rue." Derjue cleared his throat.

"It's nice to meet you, Monsieur Rue." The man was so pale it looked as though he would keel over at any moment; if not from poor blood flow than from sleep deprivation, as evidenced by the almost black bags under his eyes. Eyes that sat in the middle of his face like bottomless pits, eerily boring into everyone in the room. When he spoke, his voice came out in a deep drone, instead of the expected deadly soft whisper.

"You can call me Lucien or Rue." Baptiste stepped forward bravely.

"Welcome to Mazamet, Mons-eh, Rue." His hand moved up, and she prepared to shake it, but when it traveled to his mouth instead of reaching for hers, she was left with her hand hanging in the air while he nibbled on his thumb, looking completely undisturbed by the obvious shock at his appearance. Derjue cleared his throat again. "We were just telling Monsier Jae-"

"Call him Li." _Li_ briefly looked irritated at the man, but shook it off almost instantly.

"Ahem, well, aren't we all being rude standing around? Welcome to the station, Lucien, Li. I am Elisabeth Lhuillier, but everyone calls me Lisa. Would you like some pastries?"

"Pastries?" Rue perked up, the childlike expression sitting oddly on his dead looking face. Li sighed.

"No thank you."

"Yes! Where are they?" Elisabeth carried out the tray.

"I just made them this….mor….ning. Um, did you miss breakfast?" Rue had balanced six pastries on his outstretched hand already and was working on a seventh. Delia stared at him speculatively, perhaps wondering if he had access to the same amount of money as his more polished companion, and if he'd be desperate enough to share it at the first hint of womanly attention.

"No, why?"

"Ah….no reason."

"Would you like to see the relevant files?" Baptiste asked. Li was already reaching a hand out for them.

"Yes, pl-"

"No." Li shot a surprised look at the strange man, but retracted his hand in obvious deference to the order. "Is there coffee?"

"I..don't understand. Why don't you want to see the files?" Poor Marie Baptiste was trying to maintain control over a situation she felt completely lost in. She looked towards Derjue for guidance. Already, he was being put into a paternal role. This was the problem with young women. He sighed, and stepped forward, resigned to handling the situation.

"We won't be taking the case from you. We're only here to see if anything unusual develops." Everyone in the room heard the unspoken _Kira_. Kira felt a brief glee at the obliviousness of the team. **If only they knew.**

"Of course, you're welcome to help-"

"We will help if we are needed, but you do not need to give us something to do." The tower balanced on his hand grew higher and higher as the pastries on the tray dwindled in numbers. "At this stage of the investigation, you'll need legwork. Doing that would be a waste of our respective talents." Li set about defusing the situation. Placing a palm on Rue's arm, he said,

"Save some for everyone else. We can stop by the bakery again later." Rue frowned, but released the tray. He walked into the office, tower of treats wobbling almost comically in front of him. Delia stalked after.

"Excuse my partner, he can be strange at first. If you need help with anything, of course we will help. Thank you for sharing your space, we will do our best to stay out of the way." Delia's voice floated in from the other room.

"Where did all the pastries go?" Derjue sighed. It was_ really_ time to retire. So much for hoping the rumors were just rumors. L's men were here, and they were _insane_.

_**A/N: So this chapter I did a weird thing with the POV and kind of made it Derjue's perspectivish. But that won't continue. From now on, Light and L will be described using their real names and will only address each other by their aliases in front of other people. See you in two days!**_


	9. 9

"I can't believe you." Light hissed, filling the space of silence left by lunch break. "This whole L thing is like a vacation to you, isn't it?"

"Of course not. I am simply waiting for an opportunity for the two of us to be truly useful."

"We could have been useful when they took a break and worked on that other case, with the jewelry owner. It was obvious it was the neighbor's boyfriend, I know you saw it too." L tried to look old and fed up, but with his age-ambiguous features, all he could really manage was looking fed-up, and maybe a little tired.

"It's not our job. It's not _my_ job to solve all of the world's crimes, just because I can. Just solving the cases no one else can consumes my life. Trying to do everything would kill me." _Which you claim you don't want anymore._

"So this really is a break to you?"

"No, this is a period of time during which I will reserve my energy for solving the case when the case comes along that _needs _me to solve it. I can't keep working until I fall asleep in the middle of a case because I can't plan in advance if the case I fall asleep in the middle of is one that actually needs me." **Damn! He almost sounded reasonable.** It was irritating when that happened.

"Still, you could be more polite. Make an attempt."

"I'm not good enough yet to display anything other than highly erratic behavior, if I try to act normally for longer than a day or so. Attempting to do so would make them lose their trust in me." Light decided to let it go, and ended the conversation with,

"Yeah, right; you just want to be able to eat as many sweets as you want. That'll kill you some day, you know." L looked at Light gravely, and asked,

"Will it?" Perturbed by the change in mood, Light's eyes flicked up above L's head, and he opened his mouth to find an answer, but Elisabeth interrupted by slamming the door open, looking panicked.

"There was another death!

"Where?"

"It happened in front of all of us, at the café! Little Elise Simon!"

"A child?"

"No, a woman; she owns the flower shop, we were friends, I used to go there after…after…m-my husband died…" Elisabeth burst into tears. L seemed not to notice, so Light patted her shoulder soothingly.

"You are certain it was a heart attack?"

"You think a woman my age doesn't know the signs of that? She clutched at her chest and fell, and even though Florian from the bar across the way tried to help, sh-she just died…oh my god, it was so horrible!"

"Li, we should go."

"Alright. You should take the rest of the day off, Elisabeth." She drew a deep, shaky breath.

"I h-have to help with the case." Light turned towards L.

'say something.' He mouthed. L cleared his throat.

"Elisabeth." He said stiffly. "There is nothing you can do to help at the moment. You would need to be an official investigator to help with anything beyond the secretarial work you do now. You should rest." Light raised his eyebrows to prompt him to say more. "We'll need you later on." Light patted her on the shoulder encouragingly, and L stared at his own hand and back at her, but was saved by a final sigh, and

"You're right. I'll go home now. " She calmed herself down enough for the two to extract directions, and as they got into the car, L glared at Light.

"Using a grieving woman as practice for your social lessons was cruel, Light-kun."

"Tying up and interrogating suspects could also be considered cruel." L made a noncommittal noise, seeming unoffended, and Light gasped.

"You're angry because I used tactics I looked down upon before?"

"You should not be surprised. To be hypocritical is rarely considered an attractive trait." Light's voice was low and a little threatening when he responded.

"Things have changed since then. Would you prefer for me to have kept the same ideals?"

"Of course not, but-"

"Calling me hypocritical is a bit hypocritical, don't you think?" They stared each other down, before Light switched into a randomly pleasant tone of voice and said,

"We're here."

"I see. This could be a problem." It seemed as though the entire town had come either to see what the commotion was about, or, as the news spread, to gawk at the spectacle. At least thirty cars were parked on the street in front of the little café, some of them right in the middle of the road.

The police officers were at least trying to make an impact on the crowd, but the fact that they were friends with many of the gawkers proved itself a detriment, and one by one, any law enforcer was pulled aside to be used as a shoulder to cry on.

Light set L to the task of putting up crime scene tape while he used his superior social prowess to gently force everyone out of the area. The tape seemed to panic many of the onlookers.

"It's a crime? I thought she died of a heart attack."

"I was there, it was definitely a heart attack."

"What did you see?"

"She grabbed her chest and fell over."

"Well, maybe it was poison."

"It was poison?"

"It must have been, see the crime tape!" Light cut into the group of girls.

"I'm sure it was just a heart attack; the tape is only to calm the situation down so we can do a standard investigation. This is normal. Can you please step out of the taped zone?"

"Did you see him? He's not police."

"Oooh, they must be bringing in foreign police to deal with it."

"Good, he's gorgeous!"

"What's wrong with you girls?! Elise just died!"

"Sorry, mama."

"Sorry, Mrs. B!"

"Yeah, sorry!"

And the girls filed home, while Mrs. B and two of her friends took their place. In the end, it took almost a full two hours just to get everyone cleared from the area sufficiently to retrieve the body. Light organized Baptiste, Rielle, and himself into a team to keep people back while they waited for the CSI unit to drive in, from the next city over.

L waited inside, with half an apple pie and three scoops of ice cream he had liberated from the café. He sat at the table over from the slumped over body, and seemed completely undisturbed by the company. The situation was somewhat improved by the fact that at least there wasn't any blood, but Light privately believed that even if there had been a mass shooting, L would have been eating ice cream in the middle of the resulting chaos.

When the CSI unit arrived, evidence technicians took over the scene with much more skill than the police had, and the five returned to the station.

"Nothing we can do now but wait for the technicians to send in evidence." L looked at him.

"I disagree. The cause of death was obviously a heart attack. All that is left to determine is what caused the heart attack. Since natural means don't generally kill people in that way, short of something in the toxicology report, none of the evidence we might find useful will be in the reports. At this point, we need to find out who would benefit from Ms. Simon's death. Or under what ideals she might be judged-" his eyes flicked over to Light. "as bad. Her death came after she was condemned for how she lived her life. We'll need her taxes, credit reports, old receipts and interviews with her friends, and anyone she may have had trouble getting along with."

Baptiste cleared her throat and said,

"I can tell you right now that she didn't get along badly with anyone. She was beautiful, friendly, and very generous, but she spent all of her time in her garden or with her dog. She competed at the county fair every year and won the gardening prizes, but she's done it for so long, no one gets offended anymore. There's literally no one who holds a grudge against her." **Damn! To the world, Kira is a single entity. If another mindless killer gets out, my ideals will be completely lost.**

"Jealousy, perhaps?"

"There was no one- I mean, we can check, but I doubt it. Like I said, she wasn't that type of woman."

"Why didn't you do this with the other victims?"

"Simon, I believe, was the first victim native to here. The others, as tourists, were harder to track down. We have an associate collecting their information at the moment."


	10. 10

Quillish Whammy's grip tightened on his rifle, and he tried to convince himself that no matter how wonderful the sights on it were, it would be _wrong _to practice them on this piece of filth. Instead, he watched from dense bush on a nearby hill as a man struck a woman across her face. Scum.

Quillish had an empathy problem. He'd grown up poor, in a small town that was mostly bypassed by the war. Still, he remembered from when he was very small, the worn and thin men in their funny looking hats that sought refuge in any empty rooms in town they could. Jews were, at the time, a dangerous thing to be.

"Then why do we hide them, mama?" She'd looked down at him, warm brown eyes tired and face streaked with flour.

"Because they are human, _sohn_, and so are we."

"Oh." He'd said, absorbing the lesson solemnly until she laughed at him and said,

"You're too young to think such heavy thoughts. My little thinker. Here, take some bread and go bother your brother instead."

Mama's little thinker didn't stop thinking when he got older. He liked to dream of ideas that would make things simpler. Quillish would sit and sketch, while the other children played, elaborate plans for a Utopia, down to plumbing and traffic management.

Because he wanted to be happy, and he figured all the other humans might like that, as well.

Meanwhile, Hitler's forces were growing in number. Not only were there Nazis to watch out for, but also the vigilantes who fancied themselves Nazis. Jews, gays, even mama, with her hair too black, and her eyes too slanted. And brother, who everyone said looked just like his mama.

Quillish—who was the spitting image of his father—stayed at a neighbors when they did it.

For a while, he didn't touch his drawings. Those other people, the ones his mama had told him were humans just like him, were monsters. Why build a Utopia when at any moment, one group could rise up and decide their _shoe size _was superior, and condemn others for theirs?

It was an angry young man who migrated to Canada, to escape the worst of it. For his cynical curmudgeonly attitude, they called him the "Young old man" in their foreign tongue, and looked at him with a mixture of pity and fear. Except for Anabelle.

Anabelle was maybe six years old when she first started sneaking into his backyard, to play with the flowers in the back of his cheap and lopsided house. He ignored her, so long as she didn't trample them. As she grew bolder, she started to jump over and around the vegetables, like she was playing hopscotch. He kept a sharp eye on her feet. He couldn't really afford to buy food, and it was a terrible thing to be hungry, for the son of a baker. She never once stepped on one. Bolder still, she stretched up to play with the little buckets hanging on strings in lines over his garden.

"What are these for?"

"Hmph. You wouldn't understand if I told you."

"Tell me, mister! Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease…"

"When it rains, it holds the water, and tips it in later."

"How does it tip it in?"

"I told you you wouldn't understand."

"Show me!" He'd found a rusty old can with holes poked into the bottom and simulated rain into one of the swaying, weighted buckets.

"Wow! You must be the smartest man in the whole world! That's amazing! I wish we had vegetables. Mama says they don't grow well."

"That's nonsense. They grow fine if you water them plenty."

"Water is for drinking."

"That's nonsense too." He wiggled the can. "I don't have any problems."

"Will you make one for me?"

Just like that, Quillish took up his old plans. Suddenly, he was designing again, this time with an eye on reducing the effects of poverty. And it worked. Within five years, his work was international. Within fifteen, 60 percent of rural development in third world countries had Whammy's stamp on it in one way or another, usually under the name Ana's Help. Mama would have been proud.

But it was impersonal. He wanted to put his hands on the machines, again. He wanted to hold cups of oatmeal to the lips of starving children. Anabelle, fancying herself grown at almost twenty put her hands on her hips and said,

"You have an overdeveloped maternal instinct."

"Huh?"

"You need kids. Go settle down and make some babies." Quillish, never one for following directions, opened up an orphanage. It was intended for general use, but the children didn't satisfy his need to micromanage. Six orphanages later, not one of the institutions had needed his support past the first year. Except for one child, in orphanage number four. Anana, with a name close to Ana's, and eyes just like his mothers. And a genius like his. He provided her with tutors, materials, and plenty of encouragement. Four years later, she returned to her village in Ethiopia and led a cultural revolution.

Orphanage number seven was the first one he registered under his own name, instead of the series of psuedonyms he'd build up to avoid becoming a political figure. Whammy's house was very exclusive, and ridiculously selective in the children it allowed. Within two years it was filled. So many special children with no place else to go, and one child more special than all the rest of them.

L was an oddity to begin with. His name, for one thing, was a mystery, except for the letter which he introduced himself by. He, also, expressed a deep empathy hidden in his willingness to correct any perceived injustices he found, and disguised by his apparent apathy towards others.

L, the little boy with no name, became a name spoken around the world. He did impossible things. Quillish never grew tired of his favorite little charge. And all was well.

Until Kira. The charming little psychopath had ruined so many things. He upset the balance. Little L proved he wasn't so little anymore, over a series of security videos that, while watching, Whammy decided he was too old to blush at, but certainly was not too old to gasp and hurriedly click out of.

Luckily, he'd died. Er, that is, a great tragedy took the misguided genius. Hey, he was dead; Quillish could afford to be gracious.

Of course, the conniving bastard had the audacity to _return_ from the dead, and waltz back into L's life. And when he'd argued, bringing up every decision he'd ever made in L's best interests, his _little boy_ had politely promised to take his words into consideration, and sent him to the other side of the world to retrieve information on Americans. This was Aiber work. Wedy work. Watari's job was next to L, where he could see the change he was responsible for, spreading over the world. But he went, because his first job was to assist L, the only one who would ever _always _need him. Probably.

Pushing down his Quillish side, Watari turned away from the scene of domestic abuse at the neighbors, and used the scope of his rifle to spy on the couple just going out for some sort of event. Privately, Quillish thought it was a little soon to be going out when their son had just died, but ignoring that thought as well, he waited for the car to leave, and broke in immediately. He needed as much time as possible, to find and copy the birth certificate and reassemble the burglar system before the couple returned.

* * *

"We have an associate collecting their information at the moment." Said L, his thumb already making it's slow, but steady way back up to his mouth.

"Most of the information should be on file. There're forms we can send in to have the American government send the rest. I know the bureaucracy is a bitch, but it'd still be here within the week."

"Out of all the deaths, three of them were illegal immigrants to America in the first place. Original documentation would be with the parents, if it existed at all."

"Then you might as well send in for the forms. You'll never get the parents to give them up, and as a French investigation, you can't force Americans to comply with our demands."

"I'm sure our associate will work something out."

"Your associate must be very good."

"Of course. We all work under L."

"Uh-_huh_." Delia took the statement as a reminder, and sat down in between L and Light, turning her back to strategically display more of her bony chest to L, while excluding Light with her back.

"Your job must be _very _interesting. I bet you get girls all over you, all the time." L looked at her seriously, and nibbled along the edge of his thumb. More than once, he'd been _attacked _by girls, which—strictly speaking—meant they'd been all over him, and made it a technical truth if he wanted to discourage her from believing that he would be seducible because of his inexperience. Actually, come to think of it, that had been Light's tactic, as well. Was he walking around, beaming out SEDUCE ME! waves or did he just have the unfortunate luck of running into the types of people who considered _that_ a valid tactic? He realized he'd been quiet for too long.

"No, not really."

"Oh, _reeeally_?" she purred. "But you're sooo cute." She reached out a finger, presumably to stroke his face, or even brave the seemingly impenetrable fortress of his hair, but before she reached him, her wrist was caught in mid-air by Light.

"He's gay." It was with an impressive lack of any sort of shame whatsoever that she immediately and obviously turned towards Light, rubbing herself into where their skin touched.

"How about you?" Light retracted his hand and regarded it with faint disgust.

"I'm not interested." Marie Alice snorted something that sounded suspiciously like

"slut."

It was true that the irritation on Delia's face reflected more of the kind of disappointment a businessman might make after losing a deal than the disappointment of a broken heart. Neither the psychopath nor the sociopath in the room empathized.

_**A/N: Chapter ten! Yaaaayyy…**_

_**So anyways, now that we've hit this milestone, I bet you feel an overpowering urge to review me. No really, I can tell you're just burning to hit that button and write something meaningful. I accept traditional reviews, as well as reviews in prose, haikus, interpretive dances, and baked goods, mailed to me. **_

_**Or really just anything. I'm probably gonna wait to update this until I get a few reviews, because even though I'm working on this again, and I'm willing to put in the time, I just…feel like no one is actually reading this anymore. If you're still there, drop me a note, please. If all of you drop me a note, and I end up with enough to make me make the wow face, then I'll write a chapter that's 5,000 words long, instead of my admittedly short 1-2,000 word ones. How's that for incentive?**_

_**I'm not entirely sure if that qualifies as whoring for reviews, but if it is, I'm feeling a distinct lack of shame in my actions. **_


	11. 11

_**A/N: I've been thinking about my life a lot and come to some conclusions. I'm not a good writer. I'm a decent writer, with a lot of potential, and interesting plot ideas. I don't mean that as a put-down, either. That alone puts me in the top ten percent of writers on fanfiction, but if writing is something I want to do seriously, I need to start working on being more correct, particularly with my punctuation. I expect you all to help me with this effort. If you see an error, no matter how small, I would appreciate it if you pointed it out to me. Thank you.**_

L was acting odd. Taking into consideration his usual oddness, the displays of paranoia understandable only to him, and the amount of practice Light had in getting used to those quirks, to say he was acting odd meant a lot.

For one thing, he was staring at Light. Not his normal _how-did-I-end-up-with-you_ stare, or his old _I-wonder-if-you're-a-mass-murderer_ stare. It was an _I'm-plotting-against-you_ look that made Light acutely relieved when L went to go make himself a cup of coffee.

Relieved, that is, until L came back with an uncharacteristic grin and _two_ cups of coffee. One of which he offered to Light.

"No, thank you." The smile widened.

"I spent so much time making it the way you like it. Try it."

"I'm not thirsty."

"I wanted to do something nice for you." Light sighed and took the coffee. He set it down next to his desk.

"Drink it, Li." L had yet to touch his own coffee, which increased Light's unease.

"With you watching?" One thing L rarely concerned himself over was public image.

"Yes." Light could tell that everyone was watching them by now. Ah well. If it was poisoned, it wouldn't hurt him. He took a sip and set it back down, quickly. "Drink all of it, Li."

"I'm really not that thirsty."

"You don't like how I made it?"

"No, it's fine." Actually it wasn't. It was made with one cream and two sugars, which Light liked because it brought out the flavor of the coffee and made it less sweet. It was exactly how he'd always liked it, and never taken it in front of L, because the amount of sugar that went into L's coffee always made plain black seem much more sensible. Drinking black coffee while L slurped on his concoctions was always an easy way to feel superior. Unfortunately, the coffee had zero life left in it. Even though it was made the way Light liked, it tasted like nothing.

"If you don't drink it, I'll assume you don't like it, and then my feelings will be hurt." The lack of tone or expression made it even less believable. Light sighed and took another sip.

"Thank you."

"Drink it faster." When Light finished his cup of coffee, L made him another one. When he finished that one, L made another. When he finished that one, he asked L not to make him anymore, and L ignored him. Long past the point a normal man would have been twitching from the caffeine and complaining from an aching bladder, Light continued drinking. He went to the bathroom twice, to stare at the painting across from the sink, and to pretend he had organs instead of a digestive system that involved the things he ate dissolving into nothingness.

At one in the morning, Baptiste finally sent everyone home.

"There's nothing we can do until the reports come in. Everyone, get as much rest as you can. I'll be calling in the next couple of days. Be ready to come in."

L latched on to Light and yanked him out the door. He was pushed in the direction of the passenger's seat, and the car was already moving when he was only half-way seated.

"What's the rush?"

"I'm not in any rush." Two elderly pedestrians narrowly avoided death.

They arrived at the bed and breakfast, where a small woman was cleaning her counter. When she saw them, she straightened up and wiped off her hands on her pants.

"Welcome to the Lambert bed and breakfast. I'm Claire. Can I help you?" She had very delicate features, and huge eyes. Combined with her petite stature, she looked like a doll.

"Yes, we'd like two rooms. Next to each other, please." Light didn't betray his surprise at the two rooms, but inwardly he winced. Was the coffee thing some sort of test? L took both keys, and started wandering in the direction of their rooms. He inspected both thoroughly, before standing out in the hall, and pointing at each, declaring one the "Office," and the other one the "bedroom."

The only difference Light could see between the two rooms was that the bedroom had a coffeemaker. He tried not to groan audibly when L turned it on, and started making coffee.

"Did you want-"

"I'm going to work." Announced L, and left, presumably to the office room. Twenty nine minutes later, he returned, just in time to hear the coffeemaker ding. It took considerable effort on Light's part not to make some sort of relieved noise as L started pouring in his usual amount of sugar. Until L offered it to him.

"Drink it."

"No."

"Why not?"

"It looks disgusting."

"It doesn't matter what I put in it. It will taste the same to you."

"Then why are you making me drink it?"

"Drink it all, and I'll tell you." Light started drinking the coffee. L watched him intently through the entire process.

"Did you read somewhere that Shinigami don't like coffee? Because if you believe every blogger that posted something after I wrote that thing about apples, then you're-" **Oh.**

The impact of the back of his head against the headboard might have hurt a human, but Light was conveniently invulnerable, and was therefore able to completely focus on the reason his head had become acquainted with the bedpost. Namely, the hundred or so pounds of frisky L.

L's tongue curled around Light's, in a way that was pleasantly familiar, and warm.

…..**Wait.**

Light pulled back.

"Have you been keeping my mouth warm all day?"

"Yes."

"What…what the fuck, L?"

"For the warmth to penetrate, you need to consistently have warm liquids in your mouth." Light fought down the now-familiar feeling of wanting to hit his head repeatedly against the wall. **You chose this. This is what you picked.** He sighed.

"Fine."

"Also, I like the taste." The urge resurfaced. This time, it was L's head he wanted to acquaint with the wall.

"You've been flavoring me, too?"

"Hmmmm…." Only L could look thoughtful sitting perched on another man. "Yes, I have." Anyone else would have been dead by then. Light sighed again.

"…fine."

"Actually, I was hoping we could talk about something."

"Right now?"

"Yes, _right_ now. It is pertinent to the situation."

"Is it about the case?"

"No. Can you have sex?"

"Wha- right now?"

"Are you physically capable of having sex? I'm no longer certain exactly how your anatomy works. As far as I understand, the flesh you build around yourself is an elaborate illusion." Light looked horrified.

"I hadn't thought of that."

"It's not in your rulebook?"

"Shinigami are not permitted to have sex with humans or with each other; it isn't explicitly stated if they _can._ I assumed I was exempt from that rule, because I'm not technically a Shinigami. Anyways, the purpose of the rule has to do with the life count. Just as saving a life would kill me, so would creating one. God of _death._ Reproduction obviously isn't an issue for us."

"Why don't you drink some coffee?"

"Dammit, L, why don't you get used to my temperature?"

"I have no wish to culture a necrophilia kink."

"Your boyfriend is dead."

"Physically, yes, but that is correctable."

"Spoken like a true necrophile." Before L could protest, Light continued, "In terms of feeling, I would imagine it to be the same. I expect to feel resistance when I touch a wall, so I do. I also feel the coolness of it, the slight texture, and the impact of it against my skin. If I were to expect a reaction to sexual stimulation-" Light was unpleasantly reminded of the careful maturity which he'd had to maintain in sex education, "-then I would probably get one."

"Huh. Well. My turn to top." And L was kissing him again, slow and deep and with definite purpose. He ran his hands down Light to start working on his buttons, and Light shivered, which he could actually feel L smirking about. In retaliation, he skimmed his hands up L's shirt, and lightly glided his fingers up, up, until L couldn't suppress his own shiver.

Although he would never admit it aloud, L had a point: there was a definite advantage to the warmth of the skin under his fingers, which felt lovely and alive the way the muscles twitched and relaxed in response to his touch. And the skin itself, so soft and thin he could feel the pulse of blood moving through the man.

Almost immediately after L finished on Light's shirt, Light sat up a bit to pull at L's top. Somehow, it came off, and Light strained upward to lick at the place where L's ribs came together. Suddenly, L was on the other side of the bed, far from Light.

"Why'd you-"

"You killed it."

"What?" L was poking at a gray patch of skin experimentally.

"You killed my skin. What were you thinking about when you licked me?" He massaged the area around the patch.

"I was thinking about how you tasted."

"I see. Please try not to do that again." To both of their relief, rubbing around it sent the blood back into the area, and color started to return to the spot. "Ah, not dead then." L crawled back over to Light, a maneuver he somehow managed to make look childish, and molded his mouth around a section of neck, sharing his warmth. Between the soft suction, and the teeth, Light could feel the heat of a tongue, running its way around the spot until-

"I have another question."

"I suppose this one needs to be answered immediately, as well?"

"Not really."

"I'll answer it later, then." L shook his head _no_ into Light's neck.

"Now."

"What is it?"

"If there is another Kira, what will you do?"

"I don't know. It depends on the situation."

"There is a chance that you'll aid him or her?"

"You are the single tie I have to the human world. I'll do whatever keeps me tied."

"That's surprising. When you were a human, you would have done anything to be a god."

"This is a temporary state. It's like childhood to an immortal. I can spare the time, and I have the rest of eternity after you die, so I'll enjoy you while it lasts. Speaking of which, we were doing something?"

"Hmmm. Were we?"

"Yes. Sex, remember? Your turn to top?" L looked down at him, as though he was surprised to find a shirtless man underneath him.

"Oh? Do you remember exactly what we were doing?"

"You kissed my neck." L bent down and kissed Light's neck. "Like this?"

"More teeth, before."

"Like this?"

"Try it lower….lower….lower." L bit the base of Light's stomach and peered up at him.

"Nice try." And then he grinned and the act broke. Which wasn't actually such a bad thing, once it was replaced with more touching, and licking, and skin and sweat and rolling moving pushing _ah…_

"Light?" L actually stopped, and started talking. Light couldn't withhold the groan of frustration anymore.

"What?"

"It appears that you were correct in your hypothesis that shinigami can produce a response that mimics that of-" Light, who was producing a response that mimicked that of a human's, and therefore did not have much patience, yanked the man back towards him and shoved a bottle into his hand.

"Well noted. Now _focus. _Please." Finally L did, and the result was a single-minded intensity that was, for some reason much more impressive when focused on Light than when it was focused on a stack of papers, or his laptop. And it…wasn't as bad as Light had thought it would be. The frottage, and the gradual decrease of clothing, and increase of skin against skin was lovely as ever, and then the somewhat messy and new experience of preparation was not unpleasant.

At length, L was pressed up against him, and he could feel the hot touch where he bumped against him; on accident, and then with purpose, and finally with pressure enough that he held his breath and waited for pain. It didn't come. There was a stretching moment, not unlike when he opened his mouth as wide as it went. It was a strange feeling to get used to, but it didn't hurt, and presently, the lubricant eased the movement and the glide of flesh _there_ was new and erotic to think about, if not to feel. L seemed absorbed, and a little overwhelmed, if the glassy eyes and slightly open mouth were anything to go by. A particularly hard push produced a gasp, which snapped L to attention. He stopped _again._

"Light."

"If this has to do with the Kira case, I will kill you, and live in the shinigami realm, content in the knowledge that I will never have to go through the hell of your curiosity again." That wide-eyed look was back, which was utterly ridiculous, because halfway through sex with a bare erection bobbing around wasn't the time for innocent expressions. Or questions, for that matter.

"It doesn't have to do with the case."

"What do you want, then?"

"Did you make yourself a prostate?"

"Oh."

"I thought not."

"It's twice as irritating when you're right." After yet another too-long pause for fumbling, and experimenting, and a brief comment about temperature that earned L a swat to the back of the head, they were back where they began, and this time, there was nothing one-sided about the feelings.

The first push made Light's whole body tense, and then he almost collapsed when L pulled back, dragging over it. The individual jolts of arousal turned into a pounding, constant need, which pulsed with his breaths, and every movement of L's. Light was pleasantly surprised to discover that there was nothing overly submissive, or feminine about bottoming. Even when L turned him over, the familiar stimulation of hands added to the new stimulation felt right for a god, not at all demeaning.

It felt like being worshipped.

Subtleties of the dynamics between them aside, it felt _good_, somewhere in the hot panting and frantic movement, and that was important too. Presently, the rocking sped up and grew more agitated and less coordinated as L worked up to an edge, and slipped over it, slowing into a languid and shuddery end. Light reminded him of his responsibilities with an irritated moan, and an actual push back into him that would have embarrassed him had he not been half lost with need.

L took him into his mouth, which was smooth, and slick, and skilled, and practiced enough that Light mentally congratulated himself on selecting someone with an oral fixation. The body was easier to control, and Light toyed with the idea of lingering and indulging in L's mouth for a little longer, but he could see the drowsy weight in his eyes, and the sheen of sweat still glistening on him. Light's eyes shut, and his release hit him like adrenaline, like leaping over a chasm and feeling the power in his limbs, like immortality, and strength, and health. He felt alive!

L started licking Light, but instead of the long, sensual tonguing from before, it was hard, like he was cleaning his mouth off on Light.

"ewwwwwww."

"What?"

"Look, your sperm are dead."

"Hmmm, makes sense. How can you tell?"

"It's the wrong color. Look." Light generally didn't concern himself with what happened to his semen once it left his body, but he had a sudden thought.

"I'll never father children."

"If you were planning to stay with me, your chances weren't high anyways."

"I never thought about it. I always assumed I'd marry and have two kids, just like my parents."

"If you're fond of children, I have an orphanage we can visit."

"No, I don't- I just…I never thought about it, that's all."

"Light-kun is stepping into his uke role well, discussing children after sex." Light withheld a retort, since making it an issue would incite his natural stubbornness, and he'd rather bottom again later than argue.

"You haven't called me Light-kun in a while."

"Would you prefer chan?"

"No."

"We might even be close enough to not need honorifics anymore. They aren't needed for very close friends and spouses, if I understand correctly." L waggled his eyebrows, which looked ridiculous enough that Light had to laugh.

"I suppose not. I was just surprised when you used it again."

"That's because we've been speaking Japanese for the last half hour."

"Have we? Oh. So we have. You know, my father still calls my mother Sachiko-san."

"What does your mother call your father?"

"That depends on if she's angry with him, or not."

"Do your parents fight often? They didn't seem to despise each other, like a lot of married people do."

"No, they didn't. But my father came home late a lot. It worried her. She was always afraid something would happen to him, and she wouldn't even know until the next day, because sometimes he slept at the office."

"She never suspected him of cheating?"

"My father is a good man."

"Good men do questionable things, sometimes. I know someone who seemed nice enough, until it turned out he was killing thousands of people."

"He sounds brilliant. I bet he was good-looking too."

"Nope. I saw right through him." L yawned, and Light looped his arms around him when he curled closer.

"Go to sleep." L was already drifting off, but he nodded sleepily into the pillow.

_**Keep reviewing! Next chapter is halfway written.**_


	12. 12

A/N: It's my birthday today! September 16th! And I won't tell you all how old I'm turning, but I will be updating fics as hard as I can until I fall asleep. Since it's my birthday, you have to review. Or I'll be sad. That's not a nice birthday present.

Light watched him for a while, entertained by the twitches and little snores L produced, but eventually disentangled himself to see if there was work that needed doing. He still felt energized.

Light walked into the office, where L had made a mess of things, as usual. Familiar enough with L's system to pick up where he left off, Light did exactly that, until L wandered in, and Light realized the lamplight had been overtaken by sunlight.

"Coffee?"

"What do I get for keeping my mouth warm for you?"

"I'll let you put it to good use."

"Selfish, as always. Why don't you take this paperwork into the station? Lazing around while they work is ridiculous if it means you give up your sleeping time to do your own work."

"It's a perception matter. I rarely step in, but when I do, I am unequaled. They see my competency, but understand that it's selective. They view me as a valuable resource to conserve, rather than L's lackey who they can also take advantage of."

"Sounds like a lot of work to avoid work."

"Luckily, I recently employed a partner."

"Oh?"

"I've trained him so well that he does my work while I sleep." Light thwacked L in the arm with a stack of papers, and then offered them to him.

"Truly a noble idealist, to give up his nights."

"I do it too." L widened his eyes comically, and pointed to the bags under them, as if they were a feature that Light might miss.

"Hmmm, maybe I'll take you up on that coffee offer." L perked up.

"I'll get it!"

"I can't help it. You look so sexy when you stumble in in your pajamas, all unwashed and fatigued."

"How unfortunate. I was just about to shower, but if you like my morning look…" Light snorted.

"Go shower."

"Your French is impressive. I wasn't aware you'd studied."

"I haven't had a problem with any languages. Death is an international occupation."

"I see." L abruptly turned around and marched purposefully in the direction of the shower. When he returned, Light also looked showered and dressed, and was holding a set of keys.

"Baptiste called us. The pictures will be in tomorrow, she can sign over evidence the day after, and chemical tests won't be in for a week. She said we can stay in, if we'd like. There's nothing to do at the station."

"Then where are we going?"

"I thought we could spend the day in Albi together." L's eyes narrowed.

"Will I end up in another fountain?" Light gave him a harmless smile.

"Well, that depends." The smile grew slightly manic. "Were you planning on being a tease again?" He took pity on L. "Actually, I've heard several people swear that the best coconut cake in France is in a pastry shop there. I thought you might be interested." **Too easy.** Thought Light, as L scrambled in the direction of the door, shouting back something that sounded like,

"Lezgo!"

Although L believed they were going to a pastry shop, he still insisted on piling his arms high with the pastries offered at the breakfast table downstairs. Light carefully withheld an eye roll.

L hummed the contentment of a sufficiently fed sugar addict while he munched and chewed in the passenger's seat.

"I might be more willing to spend time on these dates if there was always the promise of cake."

"Don't I have anything else you want?" Light smiled suggestively at L.

"Yes. But I want cake too."

"Greedy."

"Irrefutably so."

"Alright, I'll keep that in mind."

"Shouldn't you be watching the road?" L seemed mildly distressed by the prolonged eye contact.

"I am." Light pointed to a second set of eyes, which was watching the road.

"How does that work, exactly?"

"What do you mean?"

"The eyes. Can you make as many as you want and see out of all of them?"

"I don't know. I don't see the way I used to. I have a general awareness of my surroundings, but I can't focus on what every part of my body sees at the same time. It's easiest to create a focus point. I choose eyes out of…sentimentality."

"If you created two noses, could you smell out of both?"

"Most likely."

"Can you smell out of everything then?"

"I can smell things I couldn't smell before. Baptiste, she smells ready to fight. Derjue smells angry. Not very much, though. Irritation might be the best way to describe it. Rielle smells like sex. It's a clingy smell. I don't like it when she touches us."

"I noticed that. Mmmf I fink she notished, too." L swallowed a huge bite.

"Pleasing the rest of the world is secondary now."

"That's actually flattering."

"Pleasing you comes third or fourth."

"Mmm? Then what comsh first?"

"It's the same as last time. Pleasing me. Luckily for you, keeping you happy pleases me."

"Lucky for me… mmf. That sounded like a convoluted way of saying pleasing me is first also."

"Trust me, it's third or fourth."

"As long as there is cake."

"The cake isn't free. You get it for doing me a favor." For the first time, L stopped eating and gave Light his full attention.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, not much." L gave Light his best suspicious look, carefully honed from months of thinking his lover might be a murdering psychopath. "Just for you to wear some different clothes." L smiled.

"Unfortunately, I didn't bring any."

"I brought some."

"I noticed. I took them back out of the trunk."

"Decoy. There's another set under your seat." L's lips straightened into a thin, bloodless line.

"I see."

"Put them on."

"Or I don't get cake?" L's eyes grew so huge and dark, they seemed to be pieces torn out of some abyss. "Interesting, Kira, how your manipulations continue, even past your death. Brilliant, really, that you would return, only to-" Light interrupted.

"Although it seems like you're working yourself into a nice rant, or self-narration, but the clothes you're wearing aren't appropriate for the event we'll be attending."

"Event?" L began to feel trapped. _It's never just cake, is it? It's always a dentist appointment, or a shot I need, or a bloody event. Hmmm…could Light and Watari be conspiring against me?_

"We're going to see an opera."

"Why?"

"Because you want cake?"

"I'm a grown man, Light, and one of the richest men on earth. I can buy my own cake."

"This cake is special. They have the coconuts shipped in, and the cream is brought in daily. It's not very well known. But if you'd like to try to find it on your own, I suppose you _are_ a detective. Good luck."

"Fine. I will wear the clothes and attend an hour of…the event." Light leaned over and kissed his unsmiling mouth.

"Thank you."

"I refuse to wear a tie."

L reached up to loosen his tie again, only to be discreetly elbowed in the kidneys. By the time his eyes stopped watering, he'd been led into the damn pretentious looking building.

Opera was about the people on stage, right? So all the velvet curtains and carved seats were pointless fluff. Of course, the viewing room that Light had reserved was perhaps the most pointless and fluffy of them all.

"How much are we paying for this?"

"It's ridiculously expensive, why?"

"I don't feel that we-"

"We're fabulously wealthy."

"Still, there is such a thing as too much-"

"Look, if you keep complaining, I'll kill somebody rich, and have them sign their money over to you. You're a public figure, I'm sure I could make it look legitimate. Go on then, whose fortune do you want?"

"I will refrain. Give me two cakes."

"Alright, you can have two slices."

"Slices? That's not what I-" The click of the door closing made them both turn to see who had joined them. "It must have been the-" Light held up his hand to stop him.

"I smell anticipation."

A masked man in a tuxedo stepped out from the (_pointless and fluffy_, L thought) decorative red curtains by the door and pulled out a gun.

"Do what I say, and you won't get hurt."


	13. 13

_**A/N: Sorry again for the delay. I set aside time on my calendar, so I should start updating once every two weeks and hopefully still maintain my grades. I know I'm not updating as much as I was when I was completely neglecting school, but I won't become a homeless bum with no internet, so please, consider the spaced out updates an investment. And please review!**_

_**JulietS, I know it took me more than a week to update, but your review last time was lovely. I hope you consider reviewing again anyways.**_

_**I also got a lot of positive feedback about their banter. I'm glad you like it. I've always seen L and Light's relationship as deep and intense with serious things, but in terms of basic conversation, I see them as each other's only playmates, if that makes any sense. I'm really glad you guys don't think it's too crack!fic-y.**_

_**And don't worry. The plot for this is a little slower than the plot for the first one, but it's coming, I swear. **_

"Who's to say we'll get hurt if we don't do what you want?" The gun moved to point at Light, which was what he'd intended. He cocked the gun.

"My gun." L shuffled in place.

"He makes a compelling argument, if not original."

"Shut up." He pivoted to point the gun at L. Light was considerably less fine with that. L seemed not to notice.

"Well, what are your demands?" L asked.

"I'm robbing you. Give me your wallets." Light handed his wallet to the man, and L handed a small pile of crumpled bills.

"I don't have a wallet."

"Bullshit. Give me your wallet!"

"I don't have one." The man flipped open Light's wallet.

"This isn't your real wallet either. What is this, a decoy? One of you must carry some sort of ID, so hand over your real wallets!"

"I don't have one."

"That is my real wallet. I left my ID in the glove compartment. We both did." Light's ID actually was in the glove compartment. As far as he knew, L's was either still in his jeans from before, or back at the bed and breakfast.

"Why?"

"In case we get robbed."

"What?"

"No, really. It happens. You'd be surprised." L seemed to get a kick out of being robbed, but Light was significantly less amused. The gun was still pointed towards L's vulnerable human flesh.

"I know you have some goddamn ID. Strip!" L gladly shrugged out of his jacket, while Light carefully removed his and hung it on the provided hook. L's new black pants joined his jacket on the floor, and he started speeding through his buttons while Light had only begun on his own.

"Hurry up!"

"_I_ undressed as quickly as I could." L said pointedly, like a small child waiting for praise. Light, like a moderately less small child, rolled his eyes at L. Light unbuttoned two buttons quickly before returning to his slow pace. He was unable to make the Death Note invisible, but he was nothing if not creative, and had begun the task of absorbing it into his leg. By the time he pushed his pants down, it was molded around the bone.

L didn't seem to notice he was naked, and his thin gangly limbs hung loosely. Light stood proudly erect, with his head held high and his chest out. The man went through L and Light's pockets and patted over their clothes, while still watching the pair. His gun never wavered. Behind L and Light, the orchestra started, and heels clicked across the stage.

"Alright. Put your clothes back on." They did, although L didn't replace his jacket or tie. His shirt remained untucked. He looked almost like he normally did, and seemed ready to perch back on the seat.

"Don't sit back down." L rested a thumb on his bottom lip. While Light had frozen at his last words, L hadn't moved in the first place.

"I thought not. What do you hope to accomplish? Why were you looking for our IDs?"

"Tch. All these questions."

"I enjoy solving a good case."

"Fancy yourself a detective, do you?" A woman began to sing.

"Why did you select us as your victims?"

"You don't have to be victims. I picked you as my _hostages_ because this is the most expensive box in the house." L snorted.

"And I thought this wouldn't be exciting." He turned to address Light. "May I remind you that if I had selected our venue for the evening, we would be eating cake?"

"I'll get you your cake. Later. After we're done being the gentleman's…hostages."

"Gentleman? He seems uncultured to me. The shoes are borrowed. Also, the tuxedo is right, but the bowtie is loose near the back. Someone tied it for him, from the front. Was it your girlfriend?"

"Shut up!"

"No, his wife. Look, he has a slight tan line around his ring finger, which, by the way, shouldn't be exposed if you plan on doing any actual shooting. It will make you easier to catch."

The man pressed the gun to L's skinny chest.

"Shut. Up." L raised his arms in the air, as if in surrender.

"I didn't mean it insultingly. A gentleman doesn't seem like an interesting thing to be. I don't consider myself one. My date isn't one either, although he does a better job impersonating one than either of us. What's your name?"

"My- what the fuck? I'm not going to tell you my name!"

"I promise not to pass on the information, if you'd like. I'm simply intrigued. Are you the only person on this mission? What do you hope to accomplish?"

"I'm- I- I'll demand money." L nodded sagely.

"Very good. Do you have a way this money can be transferred to you, without it being traceable?"

"Like, an offshore account?"

"If you'd like, but you'd need a third party to make the transfer less easy to monitor. I assume you don't want to be caught?" Light finally burst out,

"Lucien, stop helping him!"

"You, quiet!"

"I'm only pointing out that his plan has serious holes in it. You did well sneaking past the security system, but you have to consider each stage of your plan, or else invite someone else to help. I'm sorry, but this wasn't well thought out."

"I…can they really trace my bank account? Even offshore?"

"Yes."

"Fuck. It was expensive even opening up the account. My wife is- we need the money."

"What's wrong with your wife? We should have had about 1,500 euros between us." Light had only been carrying about 250 euros, and he wished he'd been looking more closely at the wad of bills L had produced.

"She's very sick…we need it."

"Hmmm. Well, I can't help you beyond the money you took, which you are welcome to keep, but it won't help your wife if you're arrested. You should leave now."

"What do you mean, arrested?" A man's voice joined the woman's on stage and the orchestra swelled.

"I mean, you moved the curtain to block the only camera in here, but there was one set in between the corridor and the entrance hall. I don't know at which point you put on your mask, but security is probably wondering who joined us, since we had the room arranged for a couple. They have your face."

"You're lying."

"I am not." There was a knock at the door.

"Sirs? Is everything all right? We saw a man."

"Tell them you're fine!"

"We're fine." Called out L. The man pointed the gun at Light.

"You! Push that chair under the doorknob." Light moved to comply.

"Can we take a look around?" asked the voice from the other side of the door.

"No." Replied L, without prompting.

"Sirs, I'm sorry, but its policy to look. We have to monitor where all of our guests are, at all times."

"You can't come in."

"May I ask why not?" L looked at the man for a prompt. He shrugged. L turned back towards the door.

"We're naked." Light couldn't see the faces of the men on the other side of the door, but he was fairly certain they were giving L the same disbelieving look that everyone in the room was.

"I….all three of you?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, sir, but policy doesn't allow…we have to come in. You may have five minutes to get dressed." L turned to look at the man, who looked like he was panicking.

"Look, now we're all going to be kicked out." He didn't seem too upset about it.

"They're not going to kick me out! They're going to arrest me! And they'll tell my wife I cheated on her with men!"

"That seems unlike-"

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! You already know they'll do it, that's why you stalled me, talking about my ring, and my wife, just shut up!"

"I wasn't trying to get you arrested, I was-" The man's finger tensed on the trigger.

"I robbed you!"

"Well, I wouldn't recommend telling security tha-" As the man's finger tightened, Light smashed into L from the side, putting himself in the bullet's path. He landed on the floor on top of L, and the gun hit the floor a moment later. The men started pounding at the door. Light felt the hole in his stomach start to close, so he fixed his clothes, as well.

"Oh my god! I shot him!" L wiggled out from under Light.

"No, you didn't." He grabbed the gun before the man could. "Unfortunately, you probably will be arrested, now. But you can keep the money, and we won't press charges."

"Why not?" muttered Light, but L heard him and shot a disapproving look.

"I respect what you were trying to do."

"I really didn't shoot him?"

"No." Then, the chair broke, and the door burst open.

Six security men in suits filled the space.

"What's going on?"

"A prank gone wrong. I apologize."

"You know this man?" They pulled off his mask, and L looked expectantly towards Light, who sighed.

"Louis Alvers." Louis jumped. "Yes, we know him."

"I see. You realize this is incredibly inappropriate?"

"Ah. We weren't actually naked. I lied."

"Not the- there was a gunshot."

"No there wasn't."

"We all heard a gunshot."

"Something on stage, perhaps? I have to say, our friend dropped by unexpectedly, but your security seems a little overenthusiastic. An imagined gunshot? Goodness."

"I…I'm sorry, sir. Clearly, the situation is not what we thought it was. Your friend still has to pay, though."

"He can have our tickets. We were just leaving."

L led a somewhat shocked Light by the arm towards the front of the building. When they got there, he turned towards Light.

"There was cake?" Light swayed a little. "Light? Raito-kun? You're bleeding!"

Blood dripped down Light's wrist onto the pavement. L yanked up Light's sleeve, and when it only showed a trail of blood, he pulled his jacket off. The white shirt was covered in blood. L grabbed Light's other arm firmly and started running to the car, pulling Light behind. When they got there, he pushed him into the backseat and started pulling off his shirt. There was a bullet wound in Light's shoulder. L rummaged in the trunk until he found the first aid kit.

"I thought you healed from getting shot."

"I am! I was shot in the- fuck!- stomach. It healed fine."

"Then who shot you in the shoulder?"

"No one! There wasn't ever a second bullet. Fuck! Stop!"

"Would you prefer to see if bleeding out on the floor affects you the same as it would a human?" Light gritted his teeth.

"Well, stop digging for a bullet because there isn't one!"

"There's no exit wound."

"That's because there's no fucking bullet." Light melted, and L found himself holding an animated black skeleton. A bullet dropped to the floor.

"There's a bullet."

"That's the one from my stomach." Light reformed, but so did the wound on his shoulder. "What the fuck?"

"It's best if you remain in your other form for now." Light's arm melted off, but otherwise he remained as he was. He used a jacket to cover the skeletal arm, and regrew his wrist and hand.

"There's a bullet hole in your jacket."

"Well, I don't know why. I wasn't shot there!"

"Hmmm. Well, the problem seems solved, for now. I will drive us back. We can return for the cake later this week." L sighed regretfully. "I wonder if the wound will continue reforming. Light, will you humor me with a brief experiment?"

"Of what?" L pulled scissors out of the first aid kit and drove them into Light's leg.

"Ow!"

"Technically, the pain is your own fault. Didn't you say you perceived only what you expected to perceive?"

"Well, I expected to perceive you stabbing me! Why did you do that?" The scissors made a schluck noise as L pulled them out of Light's flesh. The hole closed quickly behind them.

"Now I'm going to test my own healing abilities." He raised the scissors above his own leg.

"Are you crazy?" Light caught the scissors in his hand before they could touch L's leg. The scissors went through his hand a bit, but it healed almost instantly, as well. "You don't have any sort of protection. Are you actually insane enough to believe that stabbing yourself would produce any sort of special results?"

"No. I was testing how blocking a stab to my leg would affect you. Look."

A small hole had opened up in Light's leg, where L would have stabbed his own leg.

"I have to shoulder your injuries?"

"Only the ones you protect me from, it appears." Light focused, and the flesh around the wound disappeared.

"Well, that makes sense. The only way a shinigami can die is by preventing the death of a favored human."

"It appears injuries work the same way. Aren't you glad we experimented? That could have gotten bad."

"Worse than getting shot and stabbed? In the back of a car, no less."

"Well, you could have died. Now you know not to sacrifice yourself for me. You clearly aren't as invincible as you think."

L was brusque, as always, and seemed unsympathetic when he forced Light into the passenger seat and started driving them (at terrifying speeds) towards Tarn. But he didn't stop for any food, although he hadn't eaten anything since the pastry breakfast, and it was getting late in the evening by the time they returned.

When they got to the hotel, L made himself disgustingly sugary coffee and properly bandaged Light's reformed limbs for sleeping. He laid down next to him in bed.

"We'll monitor the speed of healing, and compare it to normal rates." Light slung an arm over L, and realized his entire body was stiff with tension.

"Are you upset?"

"I am not!"

"It's alright."

"You were shot. I expected you to be, honestly, but I assumed you would heal." Light tightened his hold a little, then eased up when the action made his shoulder ache worse.

"When I shoved you, I had forgotten I was a shinigami." L turned in the circle of his arms to peer into his face and breathe sugary coffee breath at him. Light wrinkled his nose.

"That's…extremely touching."

"Well, don't do it again."

L kissed his cold lips and didn't complain.

_**This chapter was very lighthearted. It'll get more serious soon. Review!**_


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